The Day Without Time

That massive cold front that swept across the country over the last few days hit here as well. We may have escaped the snow, sleet, and ice, but that doesn't mean the day wasn't wintry. The sun didn't peek through the clouds all day long, and the cold wind blew the drizzle in all directions. It was a great day to stay inside and pity those who actually had to leave the house.

It was also a timeless day. The sky looked exactly the same from the moment I woke up until total darkness fell again. I had to watch the clock carefully to have any sense of the time. Hours could pass before I knew it, and it could feel like hours for only minutes to pass. It's quite disconcerting, really.
It was also a good day for sleeping, as Patrick proved. He didn't wake up until after 10:30, but naturally he woke up starving when he did. He was also quite ready for his "morning" nap before 1:00. He slept until after 3:30 again and still took an afternoon/evening nap for about an hour.

The weird sleep schedule threw off his eating schedule too. He had a late breakfast and ate lunch after his morning nap at almost 4:00. Obviously he missed his snack so that he would be hungry enough for dinner at 7:00 or so.
It was a really weird day with his unusual schedule. I'm a little worried about how much he's been sleeping. He acts fine when he's awake, but he doesn't stay awake very long at a time. I guess I'll see how he is tomorrow to determine whether I think he's sick. This is sleepy weather, and maybe he was just reacting to that.

I have one piece of good news about him today. This morning when he was playing in his pen, he pulled himself up on the side again. When I didn't rescue him right away, he started moving his feet and hands to find a more comfortable position. In the process, he ended up cruising around the side--just a little bit and very slowly. With practice, though, he'll get better. It was literally a step in the right direction!

Human Jungle Gym

I love that Patrick is mobile, but it's starting to get annoying that his preferred location to practice this mobility is on me. I spend most of my afternoons and evenings sprawled out on the floor, avoiding elbows to the face, hair-pullings, eye-pokings, and grabs at sensitive locations. If I dare get up off the floor, I have a toddler-sized shadow frantically crawling after me. He cries when I sit down and scrambles up to me, pulling himself up on my legs until I finally reach down and pick him up. Then he cries and squirms until I set him back down on the floor.

Obviously, this cycle gets old really fast. Tonight it was so tiring that I gave up and put him to bed a full hour early. The fussiness was excessive; he refused to be satisfied until he was crawling all over me again, and I just couldn't bear to be a jungle gym for him any longer.

Putting him to bed early probably isn't a big deal every once in a long while. I may not like myself much in the morning, though, when he wakes up a full hour earlier than normal as well. I guess that's not too bad, considering he's slept until after nine the last two days. I'm loving this new medicine schedule, especially since it means I get to sleep late too.

The funniest story from today happened this morning at breakfast. To keep him from fussing after I strapped him in his high chair, I shook his mostly empty fruit puffs container for him. He was pacified by the noise, so I handed it over to him. The lid seals pretty well, so I wasn't worried about him doing anything other than shaking it. Nope, I underestimated Patrick. I glanced over a few seconds later while I was mixing his cereal, and there were fruit puffs all over his tray and the lid was in his hand. Apparently the lid was more interesting than the container itself. He'd dumped all the rest of the fruit puffs in his high chair and on the floor.

I would have been annoyed at him for making a mess, but it was just innocent fun on his part. It was my fault I hadn't anticipated he might get the lid off and dump fruit puffs everywhere. Instead I laughed at him, shrugged, and swept the kitchen floor. It needed sweeping anyway, I suppose.

Lucky and Blessed

Every once in a while, even now after nearly fourteen months, I suddenly step back and take a look at my life and can do nothing more than stare in awe with my mouth hanging open. The last time I looked, I was a single schoolteacher, and now I'm a married woman with a son.
I wonder when exactly it was that I slipped into someone else's life and when exactly they're going to want it back. It takes my breath away to recognize my blessings for what they are, even if it seems unreal that they could really be mine. What have I done to deserve all this--a nice house, an adorable son, and a wonderful husband? Better yet, how exactly did it happen that I turned from spinster schoolteacher into blissful stay-at-home mom and wife overnight?
It's been nearly fourteen months, and I'm comfortable in my role as a mommy. But it still surprises me to realize I'm more used to being called Mommy than Kathy, or Miss as I was most often called at school. My entire identity has been overturned in the matter of a year and a half (or so)--and I'm loving it.

Ready to Stand

Patrick's a pulling-up freak today. It's like something clicked. He'd been pulling up to his knees on everything all last week, but he fought to get up to his feet, usually with a little assistance from one of us. Then today, all of a sudden, he was pulling up on everything. He started with the gate thing around his play area.

Then he pulled up on a chair that I was sitting in, and then he was pulling up on me. He would pull himself to his feet, play for a minute, and then beg to be back on the floor--only to start the process all over again. It was funny watching him pull himself up on the gate thing, though. Once he was up, he didn't know what to do. He just screamed until Matt or I either picked him up or helped him sit back down.

He had a couple of bad screaming spells today. I'm pretty sure it's teething, but he may have just been bored with only me around to entertain him. As much as he clings to me, I'm not quite as exciting as Daddy, Nana, Grandpa, Gigi, Papa, and the kitty all at the same time.

I can't figure out why Patrick keeps coming to me for comfort. I don't feel worthy of his undying love and devotion. It's mere chance that I happened to be the one who carried him and gave birth to him, and I've done nothing more than meet his needs and love him the way a mother should since then. How is it that earns me the kind of love Patrick gives me? Why is it that he always wants me when he wants comfort? Why me? It's an awesome thing really, to have earned that kind of love and respect by the mere chance of being chosen by God to be Patrick's mother.

Tylenol is My Friend

We made it back home to Houston again safely this evening. Other than the long trip home, the day didn't go as planned, though. I did not sleep well last night at all, because of these nasty allergies, and when Patrick woke me up too early this morning, I was not anxious to stay awake during church while keeping a teething baby entertained. Matt hadn't slept well either, also because of my allergies (I was sleeping loudly), and Patrick needed to sleep more as well, probably because he hadn't slept soundly because of teething pain. So we skipped church and slept in. I feel kind of guilty about it, but apparently we all needed it. Matt was the first one up for the day at 11-ish. Patrick took a good four-hour nap during that time too. I think we were all better off staying home.

Patrick was in a better mood when he woke up and charmed Nana and Grandpa with the little time he had left with them before we had to leave. He was fine on the way home, too, until he suddenly realized this morning's dose of Tylenol had worn off. Then he screamed at the top of his lungs for half an hour or so straight. I had given him Tylenol again just before the scream-fest started, so I knew the second it kicked in. All of a sudden, the screaming stopped, and Patrick stared off into space in a Tylenol-induced daze. I think we're going to be quite reliant on that Tylenol for the next few days. Not only is that one molar cutting through, but he has a swollen bump on his bottom gums where it looks like another molar is pushing through. I also suspect he has more molars thinking about breaking through on the other side, since he wants to chew on everything on that side, too. Poor baby. Why does he have to cut all his teeth at one time?

We're all glad to be home as usual, even though we had a great time visiting. We'll have a few weeks back at home to let our allergies recover before heading back up to Dallas the week before Christmas. It's not so difficult leaving when we know we'll back again so soon.

16.000-Word Post

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then here are at least 16,000 words...finally.

Patrick with his Uncle Daniel
Patrick sagging his pants while playing with Nana
Patrick with Aunt Jennifer (Daniel's Jennifer)
Patrick and Gigi
Mama Kangaroo with a joey in her pouch
Colorful bird (I forget what kind)
The rare breed of Patrick...sleeping Patrick
Patrick playing X-Box

A pride of lions
Rhino head
Lion stalking a kid climbing a tree at the edge of its habitat
Beautiful white tiger

Zebra
Flamingo
Meerkat
Elephant

Sorry there are so many. Considering I started with 175, I think I did pretty good narrowing it down to only sixteen.

Picture Slacker

Oops, still no new pictures today. The day didn't go quite as I'd planned, and I didn't get really any time at all to play on the computer. It's not bad, though; it was a fun day, even if it was a bit busy.

My dad was needing to run wire for surround sound in his bedroom, so he called up my uncle that we visited earlier in the week. Uncle Bill is good at that kind of stuff. Yesterday they started working on it and determined it to be a two-day project. That means today he came over here again, this time bringing Aunt Mary with him. We made quite a day of it.

While the menfolk worked on the men tasks like tearing holes in walls and running wire, us women talked make-up and baby talk. While Patrick took his afternoon nap, we went for pedicures. It was so much fun! Patrick really took to his aunt and uncle again, and I loved having two more entertaining people to keep him happy as bedtime approached.

He ended up taking only one nap all day. His day started nearly two hours later than normal when he just kept sleeping. Tired boy! Since he got up so late, it was pointless to put him down for a morning nap with only a few minutes of morning left. He had one long afternoon nap instead. By dinnertime, he was exhausted again, but again it seemed pointless to put him down for a nap that close to both dinner and bedtime. We used every trick in the book to keep him up until a decent bedtime so that he wouldn't wake us up too early tomorrow.

We suspect the reason he's slept so well the last night or so is that he was and still is teething. I noticed this morning that his upper gums on either side of his existing teeth are white, like those eyeteeth really are about to break through this time. And then when Matt got him up from his afternoon nap (I was still getting pampered at the nail salon), he noticed that Patrick has a molar way back on the right side poking its way through. The poor kid must be in lots of pain from all those teeth! That makes the current tooth count nine if you include the molar, with two more on their way soon.

His new words for the day include "Bye" and "boop," both repeated after Nana. We're excited about boop, since that's the first game we ever played with him. He also mimicked Nana when she had to cough this morning with a funny throaty noise of his own. He'll only use that noise to mimic Nana's coughs, though, even if they're fake.

It's been so much fun watching his language development this week. He's much more willing to attempt repeating words, and many of them sound really close to the actual words. A few of those words are making their way into his regular vocabulary, and he repeats them as though he understands their meanings, "itty" for example. Before I've realized what's happened, he'll be chattering away to me, and I'll understand every word of that baby talk.

Scattered Tidbits

My hundreds of zoo photos have been downloaded, but I haven't had time to sort through them all, select my favorites, edit them, and upload them yet. Depending on how much time I get tomorrow, I may give you a sampling of the pictures then. I also have a few Thanksgiving pictures. Then of course today our camera battery died. I need to recharge it before I can start snapping pictures like crazy again.

The rest of today was nice and relaxing. I didn't leave the house once. Our family avoided the Black Friday nightmare this year, thank goodness. My mom needed to go to Wal-Mart this afternoon, and that was enough chaos to satisfy all of our fill for that craziness. No, I don't feel like I missed out on anything by staying home. I needed my sleep much, much more.

Patrick was in a good mood most of the day, most likely a result of the tiny bit of caffeine I had yesterday. I had a sinus headache, and the sinus medicine alone wasn't doing the job. I decided to risk the caffeine in order to feel better. After all, he's only nursing once a day now, so it shouldn't hurt him that badly, right? Instead he ended up spitting up more than he has in months. That's the primary reason I'd been avoiding any caffeine for that long. I guess that proves the lack of caffeine in my diet was doing as much to help his reflux as his medicine.

Speaking of his medicine, we've been working on weaning him off the meds now that his reflux has gotten so much better. We're back to only twice a day, and he's getting less of it at each dose than he's prescribed. I'm hoping I won't need to call in any more refills once these are gone, that he'll be off the meds completely by then.

Patrick is still working on his language skills this week. He is trying to say, "Hi," sometimes and said "up" during dinner tonight, not in direct imitation of anyone else. He also called his grandpa "Ba-paw" yesterday. He hasn't repeated it since, unfortunately. We're still working on his other grandparents' names. I figured Nana, Gigi, and Papa would be considerably easier, but our boy marches to the beat of his own drummer already.

Today Patrick started pulling up incessantly. He's been trying for weeks obviously, but today there were times when it seemed that's all he wanted to do. He's also getting good at pulling up all the way to his feet. I wouldn't be surprised if the first morning after we get home, I find him standing up in his crib for the first time.

My mom made her yummy turkey noodle soup for dinner tonight. It's a tradition around here, a way to use up some of the endless turkey leftovers. What other turkey leftover recipes have all of you discovered? It's fun seeing what creative recipes everyone comes up with to use up that leftover turkey.

Happy Thanksgiving

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. One year ago today I was proudly presenting my tiny new baby, newly home from the hospital, to my whole family and most of Matt's. This year I realize how foolish I was last year to expose my still-shouldn't-be-born baby to all sorts of germs that could have caused such serious problems. I remember how fragile he still looked, even though he had doubled in size from his birth weight.

I remember how thankful I was last year, just to have my son with me and especially that he was healthy enough that I felt comfortable showing him off to everyone. Exhausted as I was then, I was content being around my whole family, including my new son.

This year things are much quieter here at my parents' house, but I still feel that same gratefulness. Patrick is still healthy as a horse and much stronger than last year. This year he is crawling all over the place, chasing the cat and searching for anything to use as a toy. The son I have showed off this year to both sets of grandparents, a set of great-grandparents, several great-aunts and -uncles, and other relatives is one I can be just as proud of as last year's sleepy newborn. He makes it his job to entertain everyone he meets.

I am so thankful for my son and all the progress he has made this year. I am thankful for the quiet time he has spent with each set of grandparents, and the quiet time Matt and I have had with them. I am thankful for all these grandparents themselves and how wonderful they are to Patrick, and what great parents they are to Matt and me, as they aren't in-laws to either one of us. We're just each blessed with two sets of parents now. I am thankful for all the loads of good food...and elastic waists on my pajama pants. Most of all, I am thankful for my husband. He is a good man and a wonderful father for our son, and quite the son and son-in-law to both sets of parents.

I know Thanksgiving is turning into a more commercial holiday, just the official start of Christmas season, a pre-Christmas of sorts. But I'm still glad we have a day set aside to remind us of all the blessings we have in our life. For one day at least, I won't take any of those blessings for granted.

Bad Photographer

I might be pretty good at taking the picture this week, but I'm having a rough time downloading them. The zoo pictures are still on the camera. I've had several good opportunities during Patrick's long naps today, but when I reached for the thing I use to download them (I'm not the technical one in the family), I remembered it was in the camera bag still--that's right, the camera bag in Patrick's room. Unwilling to risk waking him up, I've postponed that task yet again.

At least today was another fairly relaxing day. Patrick and I both got three-hour morning naps. He got another long afternoon nap while I helped my mom cut noodles. Noodles are our family's favorite holiday tradition. My mom makes the best homemade noodles from scratch. They end up basically as a gravy over the mashed potatoes. All the female relatives present gather in the days before Thanksgiving to cut the noodles. It's time-consuming, but a fun tradition and social time.

This evening, Matt, Patrick, and I headed back over to his aunt and uncle's house to visit with them and his grandparents who had just arrived in town. We had dinner over there again. We are all going to get fat this week at this rate. Good for Patrick...not so much for Matt and me. Patrick had fun with his aunt, uncle, and grandparents. Once he got his belly filled, he was a bundle of energy and personality. He enjoyed laughing at and crawling to the "kitties" there: Kirby, Matt's aunt and uncle's dog, and Tootsie, his grandparents' dog.

Since we got here on Friday, Patrick has learned lots of new things. Not only can he identify a "kitty" (anything that walks on all fours, apparently), but he recognizes one of Nana's bears and can kind of say bear ("ba"). He also repeated the word "up" earlier. I'm not sure he knows what that one means yet, but he likes the word. He is also now crawling on all fours most of the time and only falling to army crawling when he gets tired or close to his destination.

The sweetest thing happened earlier today. I was back in the bathroom getting ready for the day when I heard him crawling around the foyer area with Nana, at the end of the hallway where the bathroom is. I peeked around the corner and watched him. When he looked up to see me looking at him, he got the biggest grin on his face and immediately started crawling at top speed on all fours towards me. He hadn't crawled there before and is usually hesitant to crawl new places--and on the unfamiliar tile floor. But he knew it must be okay if Mommy was waiting at the other end. We were both so proud of him when he got to me. I don't mind this crawling business so much if he crawls to me like that.

Everything's an Iy-ie

Well, we did actually get out of the house today. We spent the afternoon at the Fort Worth Zoo, which is supposedly much better than the Dallas Zoo. (Too bad, since we found out when we got home that the Dallas Zoo had admission for $1 for today only.)

The drive down there was long, and the drive back even longer because of nasty traffic, but it was totally worth it. It was tons of fun to watch Patrick's reaction to everything at the zoo. He was only nominally interested in the animals, but found the other people, the fence, the ground, everything else, incredibly thrilling.

We had intended to push him around in his stroller, but we quickly discovered he couldn't see many of the animals from there and he was getting bored. That means we ended up taking turns carrying him around and pushed his diaper bag in the stroller. Then he was more curious about Nana's necklace and earrings, Grandpa's buttons and glasses, and Daddy's hair, than the animals.

Still, it was cute to watch every time he found an animal. He immediately lapsed into his "kitty" voice and squealed "Iy-ieee." The funniest looking kitty I've ever seen was labeled "rhinoceros" by the zoo.

By the time we reached the reptile house, Patrick was all done in, so we dropped him back in his stroller and he fell right asleep. It was too bad, because we made one last stop by the kangaroos before leaving, and they were active. There was one mama kangaroo with a joey in her pouch. The joey was getting just about too big to stay there any longer, though, and kept crawling in and out of the pouch. He could even lean out and eat while in the pouch. Another young kangaroo kept running circles around the pen. I wish I could have gotten better video of it.

Yes, I have many, many pictures of the animals at the zoo, and one or two of the family too, but I am much too exhausted to download, sort through, and edit them tonight. All the fresh air combined with a little less sleep than I'd like have wiped me out. Patrick too actually...he crashed by 7:30. I think we'll all sleep well tonight.

It's Picture Time

Today was a slow vacation day. We made all sorts of plans early this morning, but I crashed shortly after plans were made, and I woke up feeling worse than I had before napping. We trashed our plans, made new ones, and then trashed those too. I didn't leave the house all day long. My allergies are still giving me all sorts of fits. I'll probably adjust by the end of the week, and then we'll go home and I'll have to readjust to Houston allergens again.

The slow day gave Patrick a day to catch up on his sleep, though. I think he's feeling a lot better after a relaxing day at home and several long naps. We're hoping to make it to the zoo tomorrow. Considering his reaction to animals so far on this trip, it should be fun. I also love how comfortable he's getting around his grandparents. It just took him a few days to adjust, and now Nana and Grandpa are almost a substitute for Mommy and Daddy. Papa was quickly getting to that stage by the time we left last night. It's great to see him moving out of that stranger anxiety phase.

Since I don't have as much to report tonight, here are some of the better pictures from the last few days. That's right; I finally downloaded them! I knew I would get around to it eventually.

Here's Patrick with his beloved "i-eee"
Isn't it precious watching him read with Nana? He loved that the pages were squeaky when he ran his finger down them.
I know you can't really see it, but they are sitting on Papa's motorcycle.
Doesn't he look thrilled to be with his Nana and Grandpa (and near the kitty)?
Loving on Papa and Lenny the lobster
First big-boy bath

Church and Visiting

I'm going to warn you now...still no pictures. I took tons more today and didn't feel like taking the time to dowload and edit them. I'll probably end up doing a picture post in the next few days.

Today started early with church. We're supposed to be keeping Patrick away from too many people, especially other kids, so we've been avoiding church. We knew he would inevitably end up in the nursery, or at least need to be, and that was directly against doctor's orders. Still, we braved church today because we knew he could stay with us and wouldn't be passed around to lots of people. If he got to the point where he needed to go to the nursery, we could either take turns walking him around the foyer or just take him on home.

He did quite well at church, doing all sorts of silly things to try to make us laugh during prayers or other quiet moments. At one point he was trying to talk to another baby a few pews away who was also talking at the time. Halfway through the sermon he was so bored and squirmy that we took him out into the foyer to find something new to entertain him. When even that didn't work, we decided to scope out the nursery at least. It turns out there were only two other babies--both tiny (one even another preemie) and sleeping. Patrick wouldn't come into contact with other kids at all, so we left him. It didn't last long, but it made him so grateful to be with Mom and Dad again that he was content during the last five or ten minutes with us.

We came home, and he crashed. He napped while we ate lunch and woke up just in time to swallow lunch before Papa showed up. It took him a few minutes to warm up to Papa, but once he got used to him again, he liked playing with him. He still kept crawling back to me every few minutes, though. It's starting to get annoying being a comfort object all the time.

Before Papa left, he invited us over to Matt's aunt's and uncle's house for dinner. Steak sounded good, so we accepted. It turns out that only his uncle was around at the time. Patrick sat comfortably on his Papa's lap, picking pieces of bread and potato off his plate and hoping for a piece of steak. He didn't like it when we fed him his normal food after all that "real" food. After dinner, he found it interesting to watch us play pool; he loved the sound of the balls. Then he found the puppy. Kirby may not have elicted the same reaction as the kitty, but the two were quite curious about each other. Although he was completely exhausted by the time we needed to leave, he wasn't sure he wanted to go. Uncle Wayne, Papa, and the doggie were big hits.

Speaking of the kitty, though, Patrick's still obsessed with her. We're positive now that he's trying to say, "Kitty," when he sees her. This afternoon he was repeating, "Hi, Kitty," when we prompted him too...as long as he could see the kitty. Apparently we have a cat boy, not a dog one. Maybe a puppy will change his mind.

Busy Day

It's late and it's been quite a busy day. For that reason, you're only getting a summary of the day and no pictures quite yet. I'm ready to go to bed.

Patrick got his first "real" bath today. We discovered that his inflatable tub suddenly sprung a much worse leak than we've been ignoring for weeks. It wouldn't hold air for longer than two or three minutes, so we had to find another solution to bathe him. I figured it was worth a try to see how he would do in the big tub all alone. It turns out it was about time to let him graduate. He didn't even act like he noticed a difference. The only problem was that if he bounced while sitting, he would scoot just a little bit towards the drain. As long as I kept that from happening too much, he was fine. Yes, we got pictures. You'll get to see them tomorrow, hopefully.

Most of the day was spent across Dallas at my aunt and uncle's house. They have an awesome setup in an upstairs gameroom that is perfect for movies. We watched Over the Hedge at first while we attempted to entertain Patrick as well. He hadn't gotten a very long afternoon nap, so he was quite a handful to keep happy. Finally we gave up and set up his playard in another room to let him get more sleep.

He still hadn't slept when the movie ended and we started getting hungry for dinner. We took him anyway, even though he was still so tired. He was very distracted and squirmy during dinner, but seemed to be in a better mood with a full belly at least. When we got back home, we put on another movie and let Patrick play in the floor. He was much more content then, but I think that was mostly because he could chase after the dog and cat more easily that way. Eventually it was late enough and he was beyond the point of giddy, so we put him back in his playard. He slept peacefully until it was time to go.

The most fun part of the day was watching Patrick with the cat and dog. He's already been fascinated with my parents' cat, as always, but it's gotten much cuter now. His voice changes to a new tone when he sees the cat, and I swear this morning he said, "Kitty," to me when I mentioned the cat, and again almost every time he saw her all day. I could tell when the cat walked into a room just by his reaction. He had the same reaction when he saw the cat at my aunt and uncle's house. This cat is a little more skittish after being around more little kids, so he ran before Patrick could get to him. But that didn't stop Patrick from trying. He was also interested in the dog, but it wasn't the same fascination he has for cats. Too bad because the dog was begging for attention the whole time, even from a near-toddler who has yet to comprehend the concept of "gentle."

Patrick is also really warming up to the relatives on this trip. He's still clinging to Matt and me more than usual, but it's helping that all the "new" relatives aren't swarming him at once. He's getting more comfortable with Nana and Grandpa already, and he had a blast laughing at Uncle Bill and Aunt Mary today, even though he wasn't thrilled with letting them hold him yet. All in time.

Tomorrow is church, and his Papa is coming for a short visit. It should be another busy day. I hope we manage to sneak in enough naps so he'll stay happy. Maybe I'll have to work in enough naps for myself to keep me happy, too!

Cuteness Overload

Papa and Gigi sent us pictures of the new puppies today. Here's the cutest picture of all four curled up together.

I absolutely cannot wait until Christmas and I get to meet these cuties. Good thing Gigi will take care of Patrick because I doubt I'll be able to pull myself away from the puppies the whole time!

In Big D

We have safely arrived in Dallas. We left shortly after Matt got home from work, and the trip went pretty easily. Patrick slept about an hour and was surprisingly content during the time he was awake. About five minutes before we got to my parents' house, he started fussing, but he was happy again as soon as he saw his Nana and Grandpa. Of course it took a few minutes for him to warm up to his grandparents again, but once he got fed and a dry diaper, he was ready to play and full of personality. He played the spit game with Nana, pet the cat, and squirmed everywhere. I will have pictures tomorrow or Sunday, after I've accumulated a few more.

The big news of the day is that Patrick sprouted two more teeth overnight. He was very unhappy with me when I tried to give him his late-night medicine, to the point that I had to hold him while Matt squirted the medicine in his mouth, even while he was still screaming. We couldn't figure out what prompted the freak-out. Then when I fed him lunch, I happened to notice little white spots on his gums where there hadn't been any yesterday. Sure enough, two more bottom teeth had poked their way through. That makes a total of eight, four on the top and four on the bottom--nice and symmetrical.

More Random Thoughts

There's not much going on around here today. Patrick was pretty well-behaved. He's learning that there are some things he can't crawl to and play with, though. He will deliberately misbehave me and crawl to one of those forbidden zones, watching over his shoulder the whole way to see if I'm watching. As soon as he gets there, I spank his little diapered bottom and say, "No," loudly and move him away from the area. He's learning, but he's just stubborn enough that he will test me repeatedly until he figures out that I will not let him get away with anything.
We are leaving either tomorrow or Saturday for our Thanksgiving trip to my parents' house. It depends on how soon Matt gets home from work tomorrow. We're thrilled that he gets to take the whole week off. My parents both have the week off as well, so we're planning all sorts of fun outings. I'm hoping we have enough time to just relax that we can all get caught up on sleep. And maybe Nana will get food sprayed all over her a few times to give me a break.
As I promised yesterday, here are a few pictures of Patrick playing with his sports center. I'm amazed that he knows exactly what to do with that bat. He knows to hit the baseball with it. I never would have figured that my boy would instinctively understand the basics of baseball. Oh, and how funny is it that his outfit looks like a baseball uniform?
The exciting news of the day is that Patrick's Christmas present was born today. His Papa and Gigi have a miniature shnauzer, Mitzi, who recently got pregnant. They are going to let us have one of her puppies. And those puppies were born today! All four puppies are healthy and adorable, apparently, and Mitzi is a great natural mother. Now I totally can't wait until Christmas when we get to meet the puppies.

Scattered Thoughts

I realized today what a real little person Patrick is becoming. He's trying desperately hard to talk to us. During dinner, he looked straight at me and chattered away. The look in his eyes combined with the earnest tone in his voice told me he was really attempting to communicate some point, but couldn't find the right grown-up words to do so.
Now that he's crawling--mostly--he's beginning to show more independence and assertiveness about where he goes and what he plays with. He'll still glance over his shoulder as he explores new areas of the house to make sure I'm following, but he's getting more brave about going new places on his own.

His favorite place to crawl is our play area. Right now it has very few toys in there, mostly the bigger toys that he hasn't shown any interest in so far. He discovered that he loves one of those toys, though. The sports toy (pictures to follow tomorrow) has completely captured his attention. He can't wait to get there and then can play with it for much longer than most of his toys. I'm tempted to move it into the living room where he spends more of his time, but I think half the fun of the toy is crawling to it.

I think I briefly mentioned yesterday that it looked like Patrick had figured out how to move from a crawling position to a sitting one. Several times yesterday and today I glanced over at his pen where he'd been playing on his belly a few minutes earlier, only to find him sitting up, happy as can be. I have yet to see it happen, but I'm proud of his new accomplishment.

He took it one step further when I went into his room to get him up from a nap earlier. I found him sitting up in the very middle of his crib, just waiting on me--the first time that's happened. He looked as proud of himself as I was of him. At this rate, he'll be walking before I know it.
I'm a day behind on pictures. All of today's were taken yesterday afternoon. It was unseasonably warm (he was wearing shorts even), so I decided to take advantage of the nice weather, probably our last warm day until spring. Patrick had a blast playing in the grass, as I'm sure you can tell. I'm glad we went outside yesterday because last night a cold front came through, and today was breezy and cold. While I typically enjoy the change in seasons, I'm not as excited about it this year. Cold weather means winter and RSV season. I'll already be worried that Patrick is dressed warmly enough, and now I get to worry about him getting sick, too. I guess the good part about winter, though, is that I'll get to watch him truly enjoy Christmas this year. Can you believe how close it is to holiday season already? Crazy!

Homecoming 2005

One year ago today, about this time in fact, Matt and I brought our little bundle of joy into our home for the first time. Although I expected it to be a day I would never forget, much of the day is nothing more than a blur of sleeplessness. Some moments are etched in my mind, but even the next few days have been partially lost to me.

I can't forget that night in the hospital when we stayed in a room with Patrick, my first experience with the exhaustion that would be my life for the next few months. Neither Matt nor I slept much at all; we were awake with every peep out of that crib.

I remember the long walk out to the car as his nurse rolled him down in his bed. We attracted much attention, with Patrick in his adorable homecoming outfit. I also remember how we struggled to strap him in his carseat for the first time. I'm still amazed that the straps tightened enough to hold his tiny body. He looked so fragile. Matt drove more cautiously than I've ever seen him drive before or since, more like a little old lady than a dad.

Then there are those first few moments after we brought him home. It was after dinner time, so Matt left again almost right away to pick up some food for us. I remember that near-panic at being left alone with him--for the first time ever. I was terrified something would happen, that his apnea monitor would go off, that he would stop breathing. I was afraid he would start crying and I would have to feed him or change his diaper or whatever it took to make him stop. I was so uncertain about my abilities as a mother that I was afraid to be alone with him.

Yet despite that fear, there was something so right about having him at home with us at last. The sad, empty nursery wasn't sad or empty any longer. He may have only been five pounds at the time, but he filled our house much faster than any stuff possibly could.

A year later, he continues to fill our house--with laughter and life. It's amazing to see how much he has changed and grown in this past year. He's now crawling real steps, one or two a day, and he pushed himself from a crawling position back to a sitting position on his own earlier today. He loves interacting with Matt and me and talks pretty constantly.

I, too, have changed drastically in this past year. My fear and hesitation from that first night at home has vanished. I'm much more confident about my mothering abilities, and I no longer worry constantly that any wrong move I make will forever damage my son. Without a doubt, having Patrick has enriched my life.

The bear in this following picture was Patrick's very first teddy bear. I remember holding it when I was pregnant and imagining my son being soothed as it played him "Twinkle, Twinkle." One of his first days in the hospital, we brought the bear to him to stay in his incubator with him. Every night before we left, Matt and I would play the song for him. We were hoping it would comfort him.

When we got home from the hospital, the teddy bear was abandoned for the many more toys we had at home. Then a couple of days ago we rediscovered it during a diaper change when he was in need of distraction. I don't know if a part of him remembers the bear or what, but he has grown incredibly attached to it. He won't sleep without it.

It looks a little smaller now than it did in those first weeks, though.
If we would let him, the bear would go with him everywhere. Here's what happened when I attempted to get him to pose with it for pictures:

It's so cute watching him with his bear. It both warms my heart and saddens me a little bit, because of all the memories attached to that litte bear.

No Pants=Good Day?

Today went much better overall. Circumstances worked out so that Patrick only got one afternoon nap, and much later than normal. Oddly enough, it was a change in routine that allowed that to happen, when it was a change in routine that had caused all the sleep problems to begin with.

As a result of a long story, one too long to tell this late, Patrick and I had to run an errand to our insurance agent this afternoon, and we had to leave right as he started acting like he wanted a nap. Despite being sleepy, he was extremely well-behaved the whole time we were gone. I could have forgotten I had a kid in the car if he hadn't cooed softly or talked to his keys from time to time. He was sociable and charming to the woman at the insurance office. Why couldn't that Patrick stick around more often?
While reading his book (yes, without pants--he sat in something sticky earlier), he very clearly said a real word...baby! There wasn't a baby in his book, and he refused to repeat it later, even when I pointed to a baby on the TV and asked him to repeat "Baby" after me. Oh, well. He's been chattering so much the last day or two that I half-expect a language explosion soon. Maybe saying "baby" was a precursor to that.
Feeding times have been strangely easy lately, too. He hasn't fought me at all, even when I've fed him foods that he typically doesn't prefer. I guess he's been hungry enough that he'll eat almost anything. As much as I love it when he eats well, if it does mean he's that hungry, then I guess I need to feed him more until he does start fighting me again. I've got to make sure he gains another pound before his next weight check in December. Holiday season should help. I wonder how much of Thanksgiving dinner he'll sample...

As you can tell, one of the books we read today was to get him in the mood for Turkey Day next week. Maybe he's dreaming of turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and green bean casserole right now. And if I don't stop, I will be, too.

Boring Post about Patrick's Sleep Patterns

Patrick has slept an awful lot this weekend. Matt and I have bounced around several theories as to why he's sleeping so much. We're hoping it's just that his morning routine has been off a little and he's slept less then, so he's made up for it the rest of the day. Our other reasonable theory is more teething. He hasn't had any teeth acting like they're about to break through, but that hasn't stopped some other teeth.

I'm a little worried he's either a little sick or this is a delayed reaction to his flu shot. I felt a bit crummy for a day or so after mine, so it makes sense that it's affecting him, too. The nurse didn't mention a delayed reaction, though. I guess since otherwise he hasn't shown any symptoms of being sick, I'll give it another day or so before calling a doctor and asking. Maybe once his normal routine returns tomorrow, he'll be back to normal.

The incredibly long afternoon naps haven't been a problem. I've been trying to keep him awake longer before his afternoon nap so that he'll sleep longer then and not need a late afternoon nap. It's definitely time to make that transition. We tried it once about a month ago, but it didn't stick. He's still not quite there, though, ready to drop a nap. That means several hours after waking up from his afternoon nap, he's fussy and desperate to sleep again. That usually happens right around dinner time. Feeding him when he's that sleepy only leads to frustration for all of us, so we've put him to bed first, expecting him to wake up hungry after an hour or so.

Unfortunately, Patrick hasn't followed our wonderful plans. He's decided he's down for the night by that time. His normal bedime has come and gone, and he's still been completely asleep. Yesterday and today we had to wake him up to feed him a late dinner. That's been another tough call for us. We hate waking him up for any reason, but it's better than him waking up once we're asleep, desperately hungry. Besides, we're supposed to be stuffing him, and letting him skip a meal doesn't help him gain any weight.

I guess I'll have to keep hoping the return to a normal routine tomorrow fixes this problem as well. If it doesn't, I'll have to really work to keep him awake as long as possible before that afternoon nap so that he won't need to sleep again before bedtime. Even then, I might still have to feed him tired and just put up with the inevitable mess that will happen. I just know we can't keep doing this, waking him up to feed him.

By the way, don't be concerned about me. That "under the weather" feeling was hormone-related, and I should have expected it. I'm already feeling much better.

Too Lazy to Blog

I'm sorry for blogging so late tonight. I'm going to cop out on all of you, too. I have a headache and generally don't feel great (can we blame this on the flu shot?), so I think I'll give the briefest update ever.

Patrick's doing okay. He was a little clingy today and slept a lot--a full three-hour afternoon nap. I don't know if anything is wrong or if he's just sleepy today like his mama was.

Matt's fine, too. Thank goodness for weekends. We're all enjoying our excuse to be lazy.

Other stuff happened, but I don't feel like reporting on it. Maybe I'll talk about it tomorrow. With any luck, I'll also have pictures.

The Glass is Half Full

Yesterday continued to get worse after I blogged. Dinner was a full-out fight with Matt and me on one side against one very stubborn baby. By the end, we looked worse for the wear, as we were wearing much of his food. We couldn't wait for bedtime.

When I got up this morning, I was dreading another day of the same. Patrick pleasantly surprised me. As a result, we all have a better attitude today. I'm able to return to a more optimistic outlook, so I will tell the cute stories from the last day or so that I haven't mentioned as my glass-half-empty outlook took over.
Patrick is a crawling freak right now. He still isn't up on his knees, but each day brings us one step closer to that milestone, I'm sure. Yesterday afternoon, he was so eager to crawl that it didn't matter that he had no destination in mind. At one point he was even just crawling in circles, quite literally. He didn't care, as long as he was moving!

Matt and I got McDonald's for dinner tonight, a compromise since traffic was awful near where we planned to go. Because of the incredibly long detour, Patrick was getting really hungry. I pulled out my constant supply of Cheerios so he wouldn't starve in the meantime, but he was much more eager for our French fries when we got them. When we got home, he was still in a fry mood. He crawled on the floor back and forth between Matt and me begging for fries. It was a great enticement to keep him occupied until I was finished eating and could feed him. That's probably the fastest way to pack pounds on him, too, even though they're not the healthiest pounds.
I was very grateful for the relatively peaceful day. It was wonderful not fighting him at mealtimes or having him scream at me all day. Once again Patrick has proven to me that he understands the concept of balance, giving me as many easy, fun days as bad ones.

Weight Check #1

Yeah, I know. You don't have to say it. I've blogged in the middle of the day today instead of waiting until tonight. You see, there's good TV on tonight, and I plan to give it my full attention. Besides, our daily routine is already so off that I might as well change one more thing.

The day started at 7:00 this morning as usual. But today I didn't get my typical morning nap. I had to shower and get prettied up for the day since we had a doctor's appointment, an odd morning one as the afternoon was already filled when I made the appointment. Patrick got a short nap while I showered, but he wasn't too thrilled to be awakened after less than an hour of sleep.

Despite some nasty traffic, we made it to the doctor's office early again. This time they were able to take us right in, which threw off my plan to stuff him full of Cheerios while we waited, which would have given his weight a little extra boost. It turns out we didn't really need that extra boost. The nurse was thrilled with his weight gain from last month--16 lbs, 12.4 oz (almost exactly a pound more than last month). That's essentially putting on weight three times as fast as he had been.

Patrick was in a super clingy mood, so he needed some comforting and holding while we waited on the nurse to return with his flu shot. Of course he cried when she held him down and gave him his shot, but only a few minutes of holding again and he was content.

I was a little surprised to be offered a flu shot myself. Because of Patrick's high risk for RSV and the fact that he won't be getting the recommended Synagis shots, she suggested I get a flu shot, too. That way I'll be less likely to get something that I pass on to Patrick. I hadn't planned to get one this year, but she made it pretty easy for me.

I discovered that there are several really good reasons to get your flu shot at your child's pediatrician's office. The nurse was so used to giving shots to babies and children that she knew how to be incredibly gentle. I've never had such an easy shot before. Mosquito bites have hurt worse. The other really cool benefit is that I'm now sporting a trendy Snoopy Band-aid on my arm. Where else would I get one of those with a flu shot?

The appointment was much easier than I'd even hoped and we were back home only a half hour after our appointment was scheduled to start. The rest of the day will be the frustrating part. Patrick's schedule is so out of whack that I'm not sure what he needs. He fussed at me during lunch, flinging his spoon and apple-blueberry Gerber's all over the place--me, himself, his high chair, the floor. It was a huge purple mess. I guess he was just too tired to eat because he was all too happy to be put down for a nap a few minutes later.

That was about an hour ago, though, and now he's up playing again. I think he's still tired, but it's hard to tell. He should still be tired. I'm not good at this play-it-by-ear thing anymore, now that he's so settled in a normal routine. I'm hoping he'll take a good nap soon, though, because I'd love to catch a catnap at the same time.

Jog Down Memory Lane

I've been working on a project the last day or so: Patrick's baby book. Now that he's over a year old, it doesn't need to be updated as often. I decided it was best to catch up now before things get any more out of hand. Most of the writing stuff is caught up or can easily get there--thanks in part to this blog. But I'm so far behind in adding pictures. The last time I got pictures printed to put in his baby book was when my mom was here back in July. That's a lot of time to get caught up on.

Looking back at all these pictures to fill the missing holes in the baby book was quite the trip down memory lane. In the process of looking for baby shower pictures my mom had e-mailed me months and months ago, I found other pictures from Patrick's early life. It was like Christmas. Since I hadn't taken any new pictures of Patrick today (I'm far enough behind as it is), I thought I'd show you some of my favorites from Patrick's hospital days and his first week at home.
This is my favorite of his incubator or warmer pictures. This was the day after he was born, and that's my mom's hand on his back. It gives a good perspective of just how tiny he was.
This was our first ever family portrait. Mom was allowed to break the NICU rules of only allowing two family members in at a time, and she snapped this picture of the three of us.
Patrick had been home a day or two in this picture, making him about 5 1/2 weeks old. His eyes look a little brighter, but he's as tiny as ever.

Maybe I'll put up the picture of Patrick's first bath at home tomorrow. It has a funny story attached, even though the picture isn't wonderful.

Not much else happened today. Patrick was a bit needy and annoying, so I'll avoid complaining about that for now. I do have one fun story, one I'm sure his Gigi will love. While chattering to me during a playtime this afternoon, he said, "Gigi." It was in the middle of some other syllables, so I doubt he knows what it means, but he can physically say "Gigi" now at least. Sorry I didn't get it on video for you, Gigi!

Thirteen Months

Dear Patrick,

Today you turned thirteen months old, one of those seemingly inconsequential milestones. Yet you celebrated by reaching several milestones of your own.
For the first time today, you took your first few unsteady crawling steps, real ones on your knees, not the army crawl you've mastered in the past week. Even better, those steps were straight towards me. When you reached my legs, you followed through with your determination to figure out this mobility thing by pulling yourself up all the way to your feet, entirely without assistance from me.
Since then, you pulled yourself up several more times while I was attempting to take photos of you in the orange chair. You gave Mommy a bit of a scare because I was worried you would fall right off the chair, but you have better balance than I realized. Before I know it, you'll be standing on your own, and then walking away from me on your chubby little legs.
You've also proven this month yet again how stupid your parents are. I'd forgotten that the older and bigger you get, the more food you need. As a result of a fortunate mistake, you ate almost twice as much as usual for lunch one day this weekend. When Daddy and I realized you could eat that much, we increased how much we feed you at every meal. It seems to be working because earlier today you tipped the scales at 17 1/2 pounds for the first time. When you go see the doctor on Thursday for your weight check, I'm sure you will impress him with that weight gain.
While I am thrilled for all your accomplishments in this past month, it kind of saddens me at the same time. You can crawl away from me almost as fast as I can chase you, and that's not even an "official" crawl yet. I don't know how I'll ever keep up with you when you can walk. This newfound mobility is a huge step, but yet another one away from me. I'm thrilled with how eagerly you use that mobility to get to me, but more and more you will be crawling away from me instead. It's a stark reminder that you are growing more independent with each day that passes, and you'll need your mommy less--or at least in different ways--in the years to come.
But the one good thing that has come with your mobility is a new sense of wonder at the world. Objects you had only been able to see from a distance before are suddenly within your grasp. I love to watch your face light up as you find yourself able to reach something new and interesting. I hope you are always so eager to try new things and excited by the results. I hope that sense of wonder at the simplest things in life follows you even when you are too old to let others know how awesome things like touch lamps can be.

Above all this month, my love for you has grown even faster than you have. I feel that same sense of wonder every time I look at you and realize I love you more today than I did yesterday. I wonder how my heart will ever hold it all years from now. I pray that someday you will get to experience love like this.

Love,

Mommy