Not the Best Milestone

I was updating Patrick's baby book yesterday afternoon, filling in those two bottom molars he got over Christmas break (oh, yeah, he got the other bottom molar a couple days ago...that makes twelve teeth total now). As I almost always do, I flipped through the pages looking at the pictures and making sure I hadn't missed anything else I could fill out. I found one more line in his list of firsts that remained blank and smiled to myself at how lucky I was that I had yet to fill out his first boo-boo.

Yup, you know what's coming. I jinxed myself. It happened right before dinner last night. Matt's and my dinner had just come out of the oven and was cooling and congealing on the counter. We were sitting in the living room marveling at how well Patrick was cruising down the side of the coffee table. All of a sudden, one of Patrick's feet didn't support him the way we thought it would, and time stopped for a few seconds.

I remember a resounding thump at the same time I saw Patrick's body flop to the ground. His head bounced off the side of the coffee table, and as quickly as I lunged for him, my reaction time was too slow. I swooped him up off the ground just as the realization of what happened hit him and he broke out into the worst ear-piercing screams.

All I could think to do at first was comfort him. I was terrified and I wasn't even sure I had the strength to hold him. I tried to peek around the the front of his head to see where he had hit the table, but I could only see that his whole face and head were red from screaming. I hoped and prayed that it wasn't as bad as it had sounded, and since I couldn't see anything specific wrong, it seemed possible.

Then Matt went white as a sheet. He had seen the spot that actually hit the table. He started gathering what he would need to take to the emergency room with him while I tried again to glimpse Patrick's boo-boo. I seconded the assessment to head to the hospital when I saw that horrible swollen bruise that had already popped up. At this point it couldn't have been more than thirty seconds after the accident. I have no idea how a fist-sized bruise could pop up on Patrick's forehead without some serious damage having been done.

As a last second consideration, Matt decided to call his mom before we left. As a nurse, she would be able to tell us just how crucial it was to see a doctor right away. By the time Matt got her on the line, Patrick was already starting to calm down. He was smiling at Daddy while he was running through the tests Gigi was having us do.

It turned out that it was nothing more than a nasty bump on the head. We never did leave for the emergency room. He was happily playing again in minutes, although Matt and I didn't want to leave his side for the rest of the night. Patrick was crawling over to the coffee table while Matt and I ate dinner (we weren't really hungry by this time but knew we'd better eat just in case Patrick got worse and we still had a trip to the ER in front of us). He pulled up again without hesitation, as though he had already forgotten about his accident. He was picking at the food on my plate, too, even though he had just eaten a little while earlier. I let him. He could have gotten away with anything last night.

Today there's just a nasty bruise above his right eyebrow. He doesn't seem to notice it's there, and the swelling is completely gone. I'm sure this is just the first of many bruises, but I hope none are quite as scary as this one was.

I always assumed I'd feel so guilty the first time Patrick got hurt, but I'm pleased to say I'm really not. I hate that my baby got hurt, but it was bound to happen eventually. I did nothing to cause it, and I really couldn't have done anything to stop it. I was no more than two feet behind him and I couldn't lunge fast enough to prevent the fall. How much closer would I have to stick to keep him from ever getting hurt? How much of his development would I be delaying in my attempts to do so? I suppose we could have moved the coffee table out of here altogether, but it's the best place for him to practice pulling up and cruising. It would have happened somewhere else if it hadn't happened on the coffee table. It's no more to blame than Matt or I am.

I guess this is just one of those milestones that everyone dreads but is bound to happen. It's not worth beating myself up over because it was nothing more than an accident. At least I can be thankful that this time we didn't have to make friends with our local emergency room doctors. I have a feeling with our active boy, though, that will happen sometime in our future.

First Night Back

We made it home late last night. Yesterday morning was a frenzy of getting everything ready to go, especially stuff for the puppy that somehow I hadn't given much thought to. By some miracle we still made it out of there shortly after lunch.

Then came the never-ending drive home. It was long enough already, but then when you have a fussy, screaming boy for hours at a time trapped in the same car, it really does feel like it will never end. All he wanted was to be let out of the carseat and car, and stopping didn't help that at all. He was just as unhappy being put back in the car after a break as he had been before. It seemed simpler to just keep driving with him screaming.

But don't forget we had a tiny, not-yet-potty-trained, away-from-home-for-the-first-time puppy with us too. We were forced to stop often for her to try to pee. She didn't the first few stops, but finally she got to the almost-popping point and went. It turns out she's a good traveler and won't go in her bed or kennel. Lucky us!

Last night was rough, though. Poor Angie whined on and off all night. This was her first night away from her siblings, and I think she missed them badly. I woke up to take care of her this morning even before Patrick. I guess I will have a new routine to get used to that includes taking care of a puppy around Patrick's care.

By the way, it tore me apart yesterday to take Angie away from her family. I was glad I wasn't the one who had to do the deed of taking her out of the cage with her siblings for the final time. I didn't want to have to see her face as she left her siblings, and I didn't want to have to look at those mournful faces of her siblings as they watched her leave them forever. I know it would have had to happen eventually even if we hadn't been the ones to take her, but that doesn't make it any easier. I've been trying to give Angie plenty of attention and cuddle time today so that she doesn't feel so lonely.

Speaking of her, though, I hear her whining now. I guess it's time to cuddle again! I don't mind that so much. That's what I was hoping for most in a puppy after all.

On the Go

Despite being on vacation in a pretty sleepy little town, we've been on the go a lot the last few days. Yesterday we met Gigi for lunch (poor thing had to go back to work already) and then left as soon as we got home to go hang out at Matt's grandparents' house in Odessa. As soon as we got back home from that visit, we left to go out to eat with Matt's brother and sister-in-law. By the time we finally made it back home to stay, Patrick was exhausted. He'd only had one short nap all afternoon, in the car on the way to Odessa. He didn't even fuss the tiniest bit when we put him to bed.

Today we met Gigi for lunch again, but some of us (like...me) slept really late and weren't ready to go on time. At least she got caught up doing something and just barely beat us to the restaurant. Patrick has had lots of opportunities to try new solid foods with all the eating out. He's almost certainly put on lots of weight finally. Oh, and he loves mashed potatoes. I might just have to figure out how to make those for him.

It's been fun watching Patrick with the dogs (kitties!) today. He's interested in the puppies and Mitzi, the full-grown miniature schnauzer, but he has a downright fascination with the big dogs. He constantly crawls for Zeus, the doberman, and Leda, the pit bull mix. It cracks me up that both of them are more hesitant around Patrick than he is around them. Zeus actually runs from him. This morning the two were play fighting, and Patrick watched with a big grin on his face, laughing loudly at their antics. I think I would have been frightened if I hadn't known they were playing, and Patrick thought it was hilarious.

I actually took some pictures yesterday. You may notice there aren't pictures here, though. I realized today that Matt had formatted the hard drive on this computer to install a new operating system, and all my familiar editing programs are gone. Rather than deal with an unfamilar downloading routine, I'll just wait until Matt sets the computer up the way it used to be. Hey, at least the picture posts will give everyone something interesting to see on the days that I don't have as much to write about. Unfortunately, they probably won't happen until after we get home this weekend. Sorry! I'll try to keep taking pictures anyway, though, even if nobody will get to see them for a while.

I'm Still Alive

Whoo...things have gotten busy around here. Since I blogged almost a week ago, lots has happened, and I think I may have forgotten nearly all the cute stories I wanted to tell. We had Christmas #1 on Thursday night with my brother and sis-in-law who came in on Wednesday evening, then Christmas #2 on Friday night, the few gifts we forgot about on Thursday. We had our third Christmas later that evening when my sister and bro-in-law showed up and then one more Christmas before we left Saturday afternoon when my other brother and sis-in-law showed up. And that was all before we got to Big Spring to have real Christmas with Matt's family. Told you we'd been busy!

The highlights:
1. My sis-in-law is pregnant! This is my younger brother's wife, the one who got married in March. We're all so excited. She's due in August, so it's only a few more months until I'm an aunt for the first time.
2. Patrick had a blast at Christmas...all of them. He really raked it in this year. I have no idea how we're going to get his presents home. I'll have to get pictures of him with some of his new toys to show everyone what he got. The camera has mysteriously stayed in its bag the last few days, so I have lots of picture-taking to catch up on.
3. I ended up with quite a Christmas, too. My husband got me the most beautiful heart-shaped locket so that I could put a picture of Patrick in it. Isn't he sweet? I might have to have him get a picture of me in it so that I can show it off too.
4. We finally met our future puppy, Angie. It looks like she will be going home with us when we leave at the end of the week. I really need to get that camera out, don't I? She's so totally adorable. Patrick's mildly interested in all the dogs but won't get too close. I have a feeling that will change once he realizes Angie comes with us. I hope he warms up to her quickly.
5. We realized last night when Patrick woke up unexpectedly screaming that he's teething yet again. This time his bottom molars are coming in. The left one has just broken through the gum, and the right one has a huge swollen spot. I don't know how he can function with a bubble that size on his gums. Poor thing! He's coping well, though, since last night was our first inkling that something was wrong. I guess he's getting used to the pain.

Even though yesterday was my first Christmas away from home ever, it was pretty good. Matt's family treats me just like I'm one of their own (I guess I am now, though, huh?), so they made the transition easier. We had a massive meal over at Matt's brother and sis-in-law's new house and did the gift-opening there. It was lots of fun. Patrick wore his Santa outfit and was a big hit.

I guess that's it for now. I'll try to blog again later tonight or tomorrow to work on more catching up. Many of the cute stories I've meant to blog in the past week may be lost forever, though. I could kick myself for letting myself get so far behind. Blogging while on the road is hard!

Random Stories

I hate when I miss a day, especially one filled with activity, and I get so far behind that I don't know how I'll ever catch up. Here's the short version of the last two days:

Patrick went with my dad and me to visit my mom at school. She was taking a half day to spend time with us, so we rescued her from work. All my mom's kids got to see the famed grandson, as well as a few teacher friends. Patrick was really good, grinning at everyone and being his usual charming self.

After we left, we headed out to eat. Most of the time he was good again, but he had a short-lived hissy fit when I wouldn't let him sit in my lap while I fed him. That just seemed like a messy idea, and I wasn't buying it. Once he got over it, though, he was fine the rest of the meal.

Nana and Daddy and Grandpa watched Patrick most of the evening. I had an allergy attack hit me so badly that all I wanted to do was go lie down. I surprisingly fell asleep, but Patrick was full of energy, keeping everyone on their toes.

Today we just stayed in all day. We had no reason to leave, and the weather was yucky, so we stayed in since we could. Again, Patrick was a bundle of energy. I would kill for that endless energy some days. He keeps throwing hissy fits any time he doesn't get what he wants, though. That's getting tiresome, and I'd love to know how to stop it. Could it be that we've spoiled him, or is this just a normal phase?

Yesterday while playing, Patrick got bit by the kitty. He was petting too hard, and the cat reacted by nipping at him. It only barely scratched his hand, but of course he started bawling immediately. We figured that would end the obsession with the kitty, but not so. Even with the memory of the scratches fresh in his mind, he was crawling back over to her, squealing "Kittieeeeee" with each step crawling. I guess it's good that we haven't created a lifelong fear anyway.

Other interesting sort-of milestones:
He stood by himself again for a second or so yesterday. He's getting braver about pulling up and then letting go.
He has said several new recognizable words, such as "Bam-bam" and "ampa" (Grandpa).
He pulled his pants completely off when he was supposed to be napping earlier. Now if we can just get him to dress himself as well as he can undress himself...

Standing Tall and Proud

Patrick stood all by himself today! He climbed up me and was distracted once he got on his feet. He let go without even realizing it, trusting me to keep him standing, I suppose. I lunged to catch him instinctively, and before I could get my arms around him, I realized he didn't need my help. He was standing perfectly well without me! Of course, since my arms were already in place, he grabbed me again pretty quickly. It may have only been a minute, but he really did stand by himself. He tried once again later too, pulling himself to standing without anything sturdy to hold onto at all. He pushed himself into a standing position off my stomach as I was lying on the floor. I had to hold him up with a hand on his bottom. He's getting awfully trusting all of a sudden.

Both Patrick and I had a relaxing day, catching up on all our sleep. Nana and Daddy had to go to work (poor things), and Grandpa had some errands and shopping to take care of, so we just slept all morning. We were both in a better mood after catching up on sleep.

Patrick is absolutely obsessed with the kitty. He keeps crawling over to wherever the cat is sleeping on the couch and will pull up, trying to climb onto the couch to get closer to her. His kitty voice is recognizable immediately, and his "Hi, kitty" is getting clearer every time I hear it. He's very gentle in the way he pets her, too, and she seems to like the attention, not just tolerate it.

I hope I'll remember to pull out the camera tomorrow. I keep forgetting. It seems like most of the time I have with him is either spent feeding him or chasing him, trying desperately to keep him out of trouble. Tomorrow afternoon, both Nana and Grandpa should be around, so maybe I'll have a few minutes to breathe and pull out the camera.

Busy, Busy Boy

It's been a long day with lots of activity. It started early this morning when I had to wake Patrick up for the first time in a long time so that we could all get ready for church in time. Sleepy as he was, he still made it through church pretty well. We didn't have to take him out even once. I'm quite impressed with him. It took all four of us and any number of toys (and random items that can turn into toys, like pens and papers) to keep him entertained, but he was good with all that entertainment.

After church, he was still ready to socialize. He grinned at everyone we stopped to talk with and everybody who glanced at him as they walked by. The cutest was when he saw another little baby girl. She was certainly cute, and Patrick noticed. He gave her the biggest grin and kept reaching for her. I'm not sure exactly what he wanted, but he was most definitely flirting. I guess that technically would be cradle-robbing, though, since she was only five months old. Maybe in a few more years Patrick...

I got most of the afternoon to myself, surprisingly. When Patrick woke up from his marathon nap, Daddy, Nana, and Grandpa took him on some errands, giving me some time alone for the first time in a long time. I was taking my own nap when they returned, so they continued to babysit instead of waking me up. I have the best family! Apparently he was still pretty well-behaved without me around.

We headed back to church tonight for my parents' church's candlelight service. My parents were participating in it, so there was no way we were missing out. Patrick was a little harder to entertain tonight, though. He only had Mommy and Daddy, and we weren't interesting enough. He really wanted to play with the candle, lit or not, and proceeded to throw a hissy fit when we wouldn't let him have it. He also wanted to sing when nobody was singing (really just loud jabbering). The music and lights and dramas fascinated him, though, and we hated to take him out of the auditorium for much of it. I guess it's not too bad that he missed only about ten minutes of it.

By the time we got home tonight, he was pooped. We could barely get dinner in him before he was ready for bed. He cried for only a minute, just because he feels obligated to, I suppose, and then he was out. He's not used to all this activity!

On the Road Again

We are in Dallas again this week, for another training for Matt. We'll leave from here next weekend to go to Big Spring to spend Christmas with Matt's family.

I'm finally starting to get into the Christmas spirit now. All our shopping is done (and has been for a while), and my parents' house is decorated festively as it usually is this time of year. They even have wrapped presents under the tree already! I pulled out our gifts to Patrick to show my mom, and Patrick saw them. Apparently we made some good choices. He didn't want to let us put them away until Christmas. I'm glad he's still young enough that he'll forget tomorrow that he ever saw them.

Patrick recognized the kitty and his grandparents immediately. I guess it's good that we had such a short break since we were here last time. As soon as he saw the cat, he slipped into his "kitty voice." He also gave his grandparents a huge grin when he saw them and was willing to let them hold him right away. That's a nice change from the last few visits.

It also seems that he is obsessed with the Christmas tree. He crawled straight for it when he got put on the ground. He wants to yank the ornaments off and play with them, and he's already trying to unwrap the presents, especially those shiny bows. Something tells me opening presents on Christmas morning may be a little more interesting with him this year than last. The funniest thing was when it was bedtime and we encouraged him to let go of the ornaments so he wouldn't take them to bed with him. He was quickly trying to put the ornaments back on the tree himself. He hadn't quite mastered the art of looping the ribbon around the branch, so he couldn't figure out why those didn't stay on the tree like the others. He's so funny.

Dadadada

I meant to mention yesterday just how excited Patrick was to have his daddy back home. I'd just put him to bed before Matt walked in, so Matt got him back out of bed immediately. We decided it was a special enough occasion that he could stay up late. He was kicking those feet and bouncing up and down and climbing up the side of his crib the second he saw his daddy walk into his room. He didn't want to let go of him.

He did the same thing when he saw Matt yesterday at lunch and again when he got home from work. He can't get enough Daddy time all of a sudden.
Then today from the moment he woke up, he kept repeating, "Dada. Dadada!" I hated having to tell him that Daddy wouldn't be home until lunch. Then something came up and Matt didn't come home for lunch after all. It was tough breaking the news to Patrick, who obviously couldn't wait to see his daddy again.
I guess the best part of Matt having to go on a business trip is the coming home part. I've never seen Patrick so attached to him. It's worth the three days apart to see this at the end of those three days:
On a completely random note, Patrick seems to have a little boy crush. Every time that Huggies commercial comes on--the one with the little girl crawling around in just a diaper and one red sock--Patrick stops everything to watch. Unlike his other favorite commercials, though, instead of just watching, he gets this adorable smile on his face, like he's admiring the little girl. I can tell already he's going to be such a flirt as he gets older!

Mini-Milestones

I took Patrick outside to get the mail with me this afternoon. It's been particularly balmy around here the last few days, so all the neighbor kids were out playing. Patrick is fascinated with big kids, and he couldn't get enough of watching them play on their bikes. I'm thrilled at how much the other kids on our street love Patrick; they always stop to say hi to him when they see us out. Anyway, I stood chatting with one of the other mothers for a few minutes, and when we got ready to go back in, she waved at Patrick to say good-bye. Patrick waved right back! I had just been saying how he wasn't waving yet, and he dared prove me wrong! It was so funny.

Also this afternoon, Patrick woke up from his nap while I was on the phone with my mom. When we got ready to say good-bye, I let Patrick talk to his Nana for a minute. We were both trying to get him to say "Nana" to her, which he has yet to say. He kept laughing; apparently talking to Nana on the phone is hilarious. Then suddenly he started chattering, and he said something that sounded a lot like, "Nah-mah." We think he was actually trying to say Nana. It's the closest he's come yet anyway.

Because of all the requests I've gotten for yesterday's pictures, I decided to post them again, this time without the watermarks. This is a one-time only deal, so if you want the pictures, take this opportunity to grab them.

Prepare for the Cuteness

Matt should be landing at the airport very, very soon. I can't wait! I spent most of the day cleaning so that he could come home to a clean house (and son and wife...I'm even wearing make-up!). If you know me, that's a big deal.

Patrick's sleep patterns have been wacky today. He woke up at 5 this morning but wasn't upset. I just heard talking from his room that woke me up. I probably should have checked on him, but he didn't sound like anything was wrong. After a few minutes, the talking stopped, so I went back to sleep. He took a morning nap, but it was incredibly short. Then he fought his afternoon nap. I gave up after listening to him fuss for about an hour and got him up and got him a snack. An hour later, he was comfortable relaxing on me, so I figured he was tired enough to sleep...finally. I was right, and he's taking his afternoon nap now. Although it was frustrating while he was fighting that afternoon nap, it will turn out well. He should be wide awake when Daddy gets home. That's exactly what I was hoping for!

At last, here are the Christmas pictures I took yesterday. I had to trick the computer into letting me save them, but it did, so we must not be out of hard drive space yet. Cross your fingers we'll have enough left to get us through vacation until we can back up the earlier pictures on CDs.

Interesting things to note that will make me grin when I look back at these years later:
1. His hat doesn't quite fit that enormous noggin. The 6-9 months outfit fits fine otherwise, but the hat is just kind of balanced on top of his head.
2. Again with that lens cap. It bothers me some that it shows up so prominently in almost every picture, but I know I'll love it years from now. It says so much about his personality at this age.
3. He looks just like a little doll in the second picture. We have a picture of me when I was a baby (a little younger than he is now, I think) where I also looked just like a doll.


Cutest Santa ever! He says, "Merry Christmas!" (Actually he's been working on, "Ho, ho, ho." It sounds more like, "Hotta, hotta, hotta," right now, but he's getting there.)

Killing Time

I've been setting goals to accomplish every day while Matt is gone. It makes the time pass more easily when I have specific things I plan to do each day. Today's goals included getting Christmas pictures of Patrick and going grocery shopping. I'm proud to say I accomplished both of those goals.

I wish I had some of those Christmas pictures to show off tonight, as I'd planned. Unfortunately I've hit a couple of problems with them. I would have guessed the problems would have happened in the taking. Patrick won't sit still for anything any longer, so I had no idea how I would bribe him to stay in one spot for millions of pictures. It turns out it only took the lens cap off the camera. It makes for interesting pictures, but they're still cute. Some creative cropping and nobody should be able to tell.

The problems happened more when I downloaded the pictures. I think I'm out of hard drive space or something (which is entirely likely considering how many thousands of pictures are saved on here) because it won't let me save any changes to the pictures. At least the originals are saved, but none of the edits I've done are saving. I've also forgotten how to do some of the editing I need to do on them, and I may have to wait until Matt gets home and can remind me. Probably later this week I'll finally have the final versions of those cute pictures for you.

Grocery shopping went well, too. It was pretty boring compared to the photo session, though, so I'll spare you all the details.

Patrick's coping pretty well without his daddy, but he seems to notice something missing when evening comes and Daddy's not around. Daddy usually puts him to bed, so the last two nights he has been somewhat upset when I was the only one putting him in his crib. He got over it quickly both nights, but I can tell he misses his daddy. I do, too. Tomorrow night, though. We can make it that long.

By the way, it sounds like everything went well on the trip. He's already taken the first leg of the trip home and will fly the rest of the way tomorrow. With any luck, he'll be home before Patrick goes to bed tomorrow night.

Weight and Wait

Today was a big day. Patrick had his second weight check, the one that would determine whether we needed to go see a specialist for it and whether he needed a 15-month appointment. Despite some construction traffic, we still got there early. I've started planning for the worst construction traffic ever for every trip, and it seems to be working since we keep getting there early. It usually works out that we get seen early. Today we left the office at the time his appointment was supposed to start.

Okay, here's what you're all anxious to hear: Patrick weighs 17.5 pounds exactly. I'd told him before we left, while I was stuffing his belly with as much lunch as he could hold, that that was the minimum weight I'd be satisfied with. I wonder if he held his poop in just long enough so that he would weigh those couple of extra ounces.

The doctor was quite satisfied with that weight gain, up 3/4 of a pound from last month. We won't be going back until his 18-month appointment, barring any illnesses. Patrick also got the other part of his flu shot. He is turning into such a shot pro. He fussed for about ten seconds while I held him and then he was fine. By the time we reached the elevator, he was ready to flirt again already.

The other reason today is a big day is that Matt headed to Oregon for a business trip. It's been in the works for a while, and he found out almost two weeks ago that he was going this week. He left early this morning and will be back Wednesday night. It's an exciting experience for him, but that means I'm left all alone here with Patrick. So far, so good, but I'm afraid I'm going to get much more lonely after Patrick goes to bed tonight. I don't know how I'll make it through two more days without Matt. I can't wait until he makes it back home.

Just Like Mommy

Again, my apologies for missing a day of blogging yesterday. I guess I'm in a bit of a blogging slump. I'll try my best not to go more than a day without posting something, though. Today I have several cute pictures.
He's trying to decide between his board book and the complete works of Shakespeare behind him. He's my boy, for sure! I'm so proud.
He also is fascinated with the whole laundry process. He tried to help me every step of the way the other day. Here he is after the first load went in the washer. He helped fold clothes when they got dry.

Once they were folded, he had fun crawling back and forth across the piles I hadn't had a chance to put up yet. His bibs are apparently much more interesting in a pile on the floor than they are when he has to wear them.

And here's another pose in front of the bookcase. He keeps crawling over to it and poking at the books. I'm glad so far he hasn't managed to pull any off the shelf. I'm keeping a few of his books on the ground so he has something safe to keep his attention while he's there. It's not foolproof by any means, but he has fun holding his books and crawling around with them, especially his new Santa book (the one in his hands).

The big milestone we're working on now is complete weaning. He's been down to just one nursing session a day, first thing in the morning, for almost a month. This morning, he couldn't focus on nursing and was distracted by anything and everything. That was the first sign he was ready to give up every other nursing session. I guess at a year old adjusted age, he's decided he's too old for that anymore. I'd been looking forward to this day for some time, but now that it's here, I'm not ready to give up nursing yet. It truly is my only calm quiet time with him anymore. It's funny how when all I had was quiet time, when he was a newborn, I hated nursing him, and now I long for those quiet moments again.

I suppose it's a good sign that he's ready to move on, and by his own choice. He's growing up and doesn't feel like he has to cling to those babyish habits. I need to follow his example and let him grow up at his own pace as well. I'll let everyone know when the official weaning occurs. I think I'll keep offering for a few days to see whether this morning's distraction was temporary or if it really is his sign that it's time to move on.

Discipline

Patrick had another good day. He still defied me at every turn, but he's showing more and more each day that he understands the word "no." He'll look over his shoulder at me when I say it, smile really big, and then continue on in his disobedience. He's never surprised when I pull him away from whatever he's not supposed to have, though.

Matt and I have been discussing just what kind of punishments are appropriate for a fourteen-month-old, and whether it's even useful to punish him for blatant disobedience. If he's aware he is defying me, then I think he needs some sort of punishment, even if he doesn't recognize it as a consequence of his disobedience yet. It establishes the cause-and-effect relationship, so that it can lead to the connection between action and consequence. Experienced mothers, what do you think? I'm not talking serious punishments, but stuff like time-outs (good for me as well as Patrick) and a slight tap on the diaper. As much as possible, I stick to logical consequences. For example, if he crawls somewhere he's not supposed to, I move him somewhere else. If he keeps crawling back, I put him in a time-out either in his pen area or his crib. These are places he can't get in trouble.

Something else he's started doing in the last day or so is acting like he's choking at meals. He'll get a fruit puff or Cheerio on the back of his tongue and make that cough/wheeze/choke sound. Of course I'll panic and leap into action, but as soon as I start tapping his back, he laughs. I think it's just another game to him. Now when he does it, I watch for a second to make sure he's breathing and to watch the expression on his face. I'm afraid if he does this too often, I'll start making the assumption he's pretending and I'll miss the signs when he's really choking. I also don't know how to make him stop, though. There's always the chance that there truly is something wrong, just not choking, and I don't know how to tell whether that's the case, and if so, what exactly is wrong. It's pretty frustrating.

He's also had his sweet moments the last few days. My back is sore tonight from all the carrying and cuddling I've done today. I can't bear to put him down when he's content to just be held, especially when he snuggles up close, wraps his arms around my neck, and holds my hair tightly in his hand for security. He can be such a sweetheart when he wants to.

Fourteen Months

Dear Patrick,

I almost missed your letter this month. Somehow the days and weeks are slipping away from me; I'm losing track of time. How can you be fourteen months already?

In two days we will reach another milestone: the anniversary of your due date. I've had that date seared in my mind ever since that first ultrasound when they predicted December 9 as your arrival date. It's strange to think you're well into your second year when this December 9 rolls around.

You probably don't know this, but December 9 was an important day for our family several years before you arrived. In 2000, one of your great-grandfathers passed away on that day, Nana's dad. Last summer, I dreamed repeatedly of what would happen when you showed up on December 9. I looked forward to bringing such joy to a day that was otherwise sad. I envisioned you growing up to be a spitting image of the great-grandfather you'd never get to know.

At least the last seems to be happening so far. Every so often, a look will cross your face that reminds me of Grandpa Fisher. I would be proud to have you grow up to be like him.

Although it saddens me that those dreams of your arrival on such a special day didn't happen, you had your own plans. Instead you chose to show up on your Papa's birthday. You get to share something special both with your Papa and your Great-Grandpa Fisher. I guess you had something even better in mind.

Speaking of your mind, this month has been a chance for you to find your own. Now that you've discovered the wonders of mobility, you have tons of fun determining where you want to go. You still seem enthralled with the idea that you can go where you want, when you want. You still look over your shoulder often to make sure I'm near, but you explore the whole house as long as you're not alone.

Unfortunately, you have also discovered that you can disobey. Your favorite places to crawl are the forbidden places, and no matter how many times I tell you no and pull you away, you turn around and crawl right back. Usually you have a smile on your face as you do so. To you, disobedience is just a game. It infuriates me to no end. I can't wait until you learn to say the word "no" right back.

And then there are days like yesterday when you're a perfect angel. I can't wait to spend more time with you. You have fun doing anything and everything, and Mommy's company is welcome, not mandatory. I'm reminded then just why I love you so much, even through the most disobedient of days, as I tell you no the fortieth time in the last five minutes.

You still cuddle occasionally, giving the sweetest of hugs, and I long for those quiet, still moments. I hope you never lose that snuggly side of your personality, even as you grow increasingly independent over the coming months and years. Even if you do, I'll love you anyway.

Mommy

I Love Good Days

Today was a particularly good day. Patrick was well-behaved and a joy to be around. Most days aren't bad, but days like today remind me how good things can be. Unfortunately, good days give me a limited number of interesting stories, even fun ones. Instead I'll do a meme I was tagged for some time ago and haven't gotten around to. Thanks, Heather!

This is the six weird things about me meme. Do I need to describe it for you, or is the name descriptive enough already?

1. When I smile, most of the teeth you see aren't real. The four middle teeth on both top and bottom are bridges. There are stubs of teeth under some of those caps, but they hold on the fake teeth bridges to span the gaps where I don't have any permanent teeth. I hope Patrick didn't inherit his teeth from me!

2. I am obsessive about some of the weirdest things. For example, all of my books are separated by genre and then alphabetized by author's last name within the sections, just like a library. My clothes are also arranged by colors in the closet, and it annoys me that Matt's aren't arranged the same way.

3. I have to sleep covered up, with at least the sheet. It makes it hard to sleep in the summer when the air conditioner can barely keep up with the oppressive heat and humidity. It's great in winter, though!

4. I'm always about two steps behind when it comes to trends. I've missed the first season (or two) of all the popular TV shows, and I catch fashion trends at the tail end of them. Until my sister got a blog a couple of years ago, I didn't even know what one was, much less have one of my own. For that matter, how many years has this meme been circling cyberspace before I finally got around to it?

5. When I was in high school, I used to paint my fingernails crazy colors, like bright blue or olive green. I still have most of those jars of nail polish, but I refuse to use anything but red or pink anymore, and those only on my toenails.

6. I can't stand to watch TV with the volume turned up any louder than it absolutely has to be. It drives me up the wall, and I have to fight turning down the volume on other people's TVs sometimes.

Now I'm supposed to tag six more people to do this meme, but here's another interesting fact about me: I hate to impose upon people to do something just because I did (not a trendsetter, remember?). So if you haven't done this one yet and want to, consider yourself tagged.

Welcome Grandpa

Wow, I take a day off and everybody disappears. I'm hoping there are still some of you out there, so I'll plod on anyway.

Patrick had an off day. He's still teething like crazy. He still has at least four teeth that feel like they may cut at any moment. As soon as the Tylenol for that kicked in, he still fussed. That's when I noticed the snot under his nose. That was a first. I guess he's either reacting to allergies or has a slight cold. No sign of respiratory problems, but I'm watching like a hawk. I practically have the doctor on speed dial at the first sign of a wheeze.

Grandpa is in town today and tomorrow for business. He makes it to Houston pretty often, but his meetings are usually in another end of town, and he isn't given much free time. This time, though, he's staying with us because his meeting is pretty close. Patrick's loving all the special attention, even through the fussiness and medication. Too bad Grandpa's trip is another whirlwind one; he'll be gone tomorrow. At least it's only less than two weeks until we make it back to Dallas to see him and Nana again.

Oh, of course I took lots of pictures. I'll work on downloading them tomorrow. I haven't taken as many pictures lately. It's discouraging that most of them turn out blurry, thanks to Patrick's abundant energy. I think I have a few cute ones now, though. Maybe he'll share some of his energy so that I can get motivation to download the pictures I have.

Always on his Feet

Sorry about forgetting yesterday's post. At almost midnight when Matt and I finally headed to bed, I suddenly realized I'd completely forgotten to blog. We were caught up with decorating our tree, which by the way, Patrick loves. All those lights and pretty ornaments and other shiny stuff...

Other than that, not much has been happening. Patrick's getting quite good at pulling up to his feet. He can go from sitting to standing all the way up within a couple of seconds. Of course, even though he has fallen back down on his bottom before, he's apparently too scared to do so most of the time. I have to stop whatever I'm doing to rescue him numerous times during the day.

Oh, yeah, and night. He can now pull up on the side of his crib. I'm proud of him, but I'm more than ready for him to go back to falling back down on his own. It's not fun to have to go "check" on him shortly after putting him down when I hear him screaming that "I'm up and I can't fall down" scream.

He has started saying a new word, although we're not exactly sure what it means yet. It sounds like "Hott" to me, with an emphasis on the t. Matt thinks it sounds more like, "Ha-too," Patrick's imitation of a sneeze. That theory makes more sense than mine because the last time he said it tonight, he sneezed right after. Maybe that's his way of saying he needs to sneeze.

Finally...

Here are the pictures from Friday that I never could post.

Yes, I will still do a real post later tonight with updates from yesterday and today. Hopefully I won't forget tonight like I did last night.

Hard Heads and Strong Wills

Patrick would never let you believe it, but he most certainly understands the words, "No" and "Stop." He's heard them enough today for sure. Unfortunately, understanding and obeying are two different things. I am so frustrated now; bedtime is a welcome relief.

I guess the worst is that he's started gritting his teeth again, just today. It's worse than it was the last time he did it because he has more teeth now. I'm pretty sure it's from teething (the left upper molar finally broke through the gums today), but that doesn't keep it from being just as annoying. He now giggles when I stick my finger in his mouth to make him stop. Telling him to certainly doesn't make any difference.

I'd love to encourage such persistence, as it will be a good trait to have later in life, but it's difficult when he's so persistent about disobeying. Everything I told him not to do today, he persisted in doing anyway until I was forced to hand down a more severe punishment, which naturally made him scream at me. My patience has been worn down completely.

On a lighter side, Matt pointed out something interesting last night. Patrick had woken up screaming at about 10:30 and wouldn't be happy unless I was holding him (we think it was some painful gas). Matt really scrutinized the two of us as we paced the living room floor and suddenly stated his observation: "You know, he's half your height." At first I laughed at the obvious exaggeration, but then I realized he's right. I'm five feet exactly. Patrick was 28 inches at his last appointment, and is probably closer to 29 or maybe even 30 by now. Thirty inches is two and a half feet, exactly half my height. That's insane! No wonder I have so much trouble carrying him around very long these days, as well as keeping him from diving right out of my arms.

By the way, blogger still doesn't want to upload those pictures from yesterday. I'll try again tomorrow...

Mini-Milestones

Blogger is being uncooperative tonight with letting me add my photos. It's too bad; I really could have used one of them to illustrate a point. I guess my words will have to work overtime to make up for it. I'll try later to post the photos from today.

We have a few more mini-milestones today. Patrick has figured out how to get back to a sitting position from a standing one. When he gives up on me rescuing him when he gets tired of standing along the side of the pen, he can just fall back on his diaper and go back to playing. I'm probably more thrilled about this development than he is.

I also love watching him pull himself up to his knees and then lean back to sit on his feet. (This is what one of the pictures shows.) He looks like a real little boy when he sits like that, not a baby just learning how to move his body.

I think he's starting to work his way into standing up all by himself. Several times today while he was sitting on his feet, he pushed his body up to his pulled-up-on-his-knees position, without having to pull up on anything. He is building that strength and balance. Before long he'll be able to balance on his feet, too. It's exciting thinking about him standing and walking!

Patrick loves to practice pulling up on our pants legs. Yesterday morning he had a little surprise as he pulled up on my pajama pants with an elastic waist. Yup, the more he pulled, the more they fell. He didn't make it very far.

He also loves his daddy more than ever. For the first time today, the second he heard Daddy come home from work, he took off crawling at top speed to find him. He reached him within seconds. This was the scenario we've been looking forward to since before he was born, when he runs to welcome Daddy home. He may not technically run yet, or yell out, "Daddy!" in that cute voice, but he has the same enthusiasm that we've imagined. That was one of those moments that makes being a parent worth it.