Patrick had another good day. He still defied me at every turn, but he's showing more and more each day that he understands the word "no." He'll look over his shoulder at me when I say it, smile really big, and then continue on in his disobedience. He's never surprised when I pull him away from whatever he's not supposed to have, though.
Matt and I have been discussing just what kind of punishments are appropriate for a fourteen-month-old, and whether it's even useful to punish him for blatant disobedience. If he's aware he is defying me, then I think he needs some sort of punishment, even if he doesn't recognize it as a consequence of his disobedience yet. It establishes the cause-and-effect relationship, so that it can lead to the connection between action and consequence. Experienced mothers, what do you think? I'm not talking serious punishments, but stuff like time-outs (good for me as well as Patrick) and a slight tap on the diaper. As much as possible, I stick to logical consequences. For example, if he crawls somewhere he's not supposed to, I move him somewhere else. If he keeps crawling back, I put him in a time-out either in his pen area or his crib. These are places he can't get in trouble.
Something else he's started doing in the last day or so is acting like he's choking at meals. He'll get a fruit puff or Cheerio on the back of his tongue and make that cough/wheeze/choke sound. Of course I'll panic and leap into action, but as soon as I start tapping his back, he laughs. I think it's just another game to him. Now when he does it, I watch for a second to make sure he's breathing and to watch the expression on his face. I'm afraid if he does this too often, I'll start making the assumption he's pretending and I'll miss the signs when he's really choking. I also don't know how to make him stop, though. There's always the chance that there truly is something wrong, just not choking, and I don't know how to tell whether that's the case, and if so, what exactly is wrong. It's pretty frustrating.
He's also had his sweet moments the last few days. My back is sore tonight from all the carrying and cuddling I've done today. I can't bear to put him down when he's content to just be held, especially when he snuggles up close, wraps his arms around my neck, and holds my hair tightly in his hand for security. He can be such a sweetheart when he wants to.
Matt and I have been discussing just what kind of punishments are appropriate for a fourteen-month-old, and whether it's even useful to punish him for blatant disobedience. If he's aware he is defying me, then I think he needs some sort of punishment, even if he doesn't recognize it as a consequence of his disobedience yet. It establishes the cause-and-effect relationship, so that it can lead to the connection between action and consequence. Experienced mothers, what do you think? I'm not talking serious punishments, but stuff like time-outs (good for me as well as Patrick) and a slight tap on the diaper. As much as possible, I stick to logical consequences. For example, if he crawls somewhere he's not supposed to, I move him somewhere else. If he keeps crawling back, I put him in a time-out either in his pen area or his crib. These are places he can't get in trouble.
Something else he's started doing in the last day or so is acting like he's choking at meals. He'll get a fruit puff or Cheerio on the back of his tongue and make that cough/wheeze/choke sound. Of course I'll panic and leap into action, but as soon as I start tapping his back, he laughs. I think it's just another game to him. Now when he does it, I watch for a second to make sure he's breathing and to watch the expression on his face. I'm afraid if he does this too often, I'll start making the assumption he's pretending and I'll miss the signs when he's really choking. I also don't know how to make him stop, though. There's always the chance that there truly is something wrong, just not choking, and I don't know how to tell whether that's the case, and if so, what exactly is wrong. It's pretty frustrating.
He's also had his sweet moments the last few days. My back is sore tonight from all the carrying and cuddling I've done today. I can't bear to put him down when he's content to just be held, especially when he snuggles up close, wraps his arms around my neck, and holds my hair tightly in his hand for security. He can be such a sweetheart when he wants to.
Labels: Audience Participation, Discipline, Frustration, Sweet Stories
2 Comments:
I'm sorry I am of no help here Kathy because I am in the same boat.. I have slapped Randie's hand so far for punishment and I think it works but she still likes to defy every chance she gets.. lol Sometimes I will say.. "Do you want mommy to slap your hand?" and she will say "okay" and slap her own hand.. lol
Maddy and Morgan are the same way. They know by now what "no" means and I used to could say "no!" from the couch and they would stop in their tracks and at least look at me. Now they just blatantly ignore me and keep on toward whatever they are getting into.
I had these little photo albums on a lows shelf that Morgan kept pulling off, EVERYDAY. I finally just moved them instead of having to yell at her in frustration when she would go straight for them.
I hate punishing the girls. I spank thier hands too. I don't put them in their crib because I worried that they might start to associate their crib with punishment, but I do spank their hands or their diaper if they are persistently getting into something that could hurt them (i.e. the heater, or lamp on their nightstand) When they cry because I have tapped them I want to die. I feel so mean, like they are going to hate me forever, but they get over it fast. I mostly just try to redirect them when they are doing wrong. But Morgan, like Patrick I assume, has a real stubborn streak.
As for the choking thing. Morgan is doing that exact thing. She started it this weekend and it is driving me crazy. As you remember we have had a real choking incident and so it scares the pants off of me EVERY SINGLE TIME. But do know that you will know for sure if he is really choking if he ever does. That instict kicks in and you know when he just keeps going with it if something is wrong for sure.
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