Got Milk?

Happy Halloween!

Patrick's mystery costume is...



a cow!

That's right...no bull! He makes an udder-ly cute cow, doesn't he? By the way, it felt a little backwards to be breastfeeding a cow. Isn't that where I usually get my milk, not where I give it?

Patrick put up with the costume pretty well, as you can tell, even if it was a bit warm to wear in 80+ degree weather. He particularly loved the bell at the end of the zipper. I think that's the reason he chose the costume in the first place.

Unfortunately, we didn't get to do much other than take these pictures today. We had very few trick-or-treaters show up, but we had to turn our porch light off early when Patrick went to bed. I guess Matt and I will have some chocolate to graze off for the next few weeks. Patrick the Cow was content with grass.
We took Patrick next door to the neighbors' to backwards trick-or-treat. When no trick-or-treaters had shown up shortly before Patrick's bedtime, we decided to get rid of some of our candy by pawning it off on our neighbors. It gave us a chance to show off the cow costume to someone in person, at least.

And no, Matt and I did not dress up. Sorry to disappoint all of you.
He also got his first Halloween card today from Papa and Gigi. The bat in the middle was fuzzy, so I handed it to Patrick to see what he thought. I don't know what he thought about the fuzzy bat, but he loved the card. He played with it a long time. Considering he was about to break into another meltdown, it was a very timely "toy."

Speaking of meltdowns, that's how we started our day. Halfway through breakfast, he completely lost it. He refused to eat any longer, even though he usually eats much more than that, and there was no way I could get him out of his high chair fast enough. He was outright wailing, he was so upset. I still have no idea what set him off or why he was crying. A dose of Tylenol--just to be sure--and a long morning nap seemed to take care of the problem, whatever it was.

Daddy started a new game with him at lunch today--the "up" game. Matt's trying to teach him to say "Up" and hold his arms up when he wants to be held. Today it was funny, though. Matt kept saying "Up" to get Patrick to repeat him, but all Patrick would do is laugh. Now any time he says, "Up, up, up," Patrick breaks out in the most hilarious laugh. It's particularly funny when Daddy holds him up in the air when he says it.

I hope everyone had a happy Halloween today. Happy birthday, Uncle Steve...and Gigi, since it will be your birthday by the time you read this.

Stories About my Boys

As Patrick has gotten older, his afternoon naps have grown shorter and shorter. I used to be able to accomplish all sorts of things during that nap, including blogging. Now that he's not sleeping as long, though, I find myself rushing through my usual naptime tasks to hopefully get them done before he wakes up. Not only do I not finish everything I hope to most days, but I don't do a quality job of any of it.

I want to apologize for not recognizing I needed to change things sooner. I realize my blogging over the past few weeks has suffered. I may have given enough tidbits and cute stories to keep everyone satisfied, but I know it wasn't great. It wasn't the quality I expect from myself, and I'm working to change that. That's why I am now planning to blog every evening, once Patrick is in bed for the night and asleep, when I have as much time as I need to say what it is I want to say. I can't guarantee I still won't have an off day from time to time, but I hope in general my posts will improve.
Patrick has been much better behaved the past few days. I've been very grateful for his good, sweet behavior. I missed this good Patrick. Last night he suddenly decided he wanted to drag his bedtime blankie around with him. I let him because it was super cute. At one point he was scooting around on the floor, chasing after some toys that Matt and I kept moving to keep out of his reach, and he gave up. He saw his blankie lying on the floor near him and scooted over to it as quickly as possible and dove face-first into it. It was adorable to watch. He loves that blankie so much, probably because it's so soft to rub against his face.

Matt and I were having lots of fun playing with Patrick last night. No, we weren't joining in his play with his toys; we were playing with him, using him for our own entertainment purposes. That's where the moving toys out of his reach came into play. Fortunately Patrick cooperated and seemed to be having as much fun as we were. He never even knew we were trying to have fun at his expense.

He took a moment out for cuddling earlier too. I was getting ready to put him down for a morning nap, and he was still pretty playful. So I asked him to say, "I love you, Mommy," knowing of course that the only word of those he could almost say was "mommy." Instead of responding in words, he leaned forward and snuggled up against me, even leaning his head on my shoulder. He said in actions what he couldn't yet say in words. That was without a doubt the sweetest moment of my day.

Matt's sweetest moment came when we got out of the car to go into the grocery store. I was strapping Patrick into the Bjorn, which Daddy wears much more often but wasn't today because he still isn't feeling completely up to par (more about that later). As I was getting him situated, he kept leaning forward and reaching for Daddy. Even when he was completely strapped in, he kept grabbing at Matt's shirt, hoping maybe he would carry him after all. I've never seen him want his Daddy that badly.
Time for the Matt update. He is doing pretty well tonight. He went to work this morning, but he was sent home for the afternoon. He was still in quite a bit of pain all afternoon but slept it off. The right amount of pain medication and that sleep seem to have helped tonight, though, thank goodness. And despite what he might tell some of you, he has most certainly not been a baby through all this. Considering how he has felt, he has been very sweet (like always). I think he's ready for some real food again, though. He should be cleared for that on Friday, and we are all greatly anticipating that!

Stay Tuned

Check back later tonight for a real post. Don't worry; everybody here is fine. I will explain the reason for the postponed post tonight.

Too Tired

I'm too tired to think, much less blog. Instead, here are some pictures of Patrick for your viewing enjoyment.


By the way, Matt is struggling a little more today. The achiness and soreness caught up to him this morning, and it's finally starting to swell. He's coping okay, mostly by sleeping, but I can tell he's not as perky as he has been the last two days.

Day 2 of Nursing

Thank you to everyone who sent Matt your well-wishes. As you probably read yesterday, the wisdom tooth extraction went well. If you want more details than that, read Matt's comment on yesterday's post. It has more details than I cared to give, especially only hearing them secondhand. He is doing better today. He's still in some pain but hasn't even taken his prescription pain meds since early this morning. He even tried "real" food a little while ago, if you can call a piece of bread "real." We're all glad that so far Patrick has stayed the only baby in the house.

And I hate to try once again to explain away unintentionally hurtful words, but really, really, really don't feel bad if you had told us a wisdom teeth horror story. The one that was haunting Matt wasn't told by any of you. I'm sorry to tell all of you that apparently none of you have the worst story about wisdom teeth (although, Alissa, with your getting wasted and popping stitches story is probably the funniest). I think you would have had to mention medieval instruments of torture to get close.

Patrick's doing a good job of going with the flow with all the craziness around here yesterday and today. I think he wants Daddy to smile and play with him again, but he seems to understand that Daddy doesn't feel up to it. He really is a perceptive little kid.
He took one more step towards crawling yesterday. He was able to push himself up on his knees a little bit and use them to propel him forward on his belly. It wasn't very coordinated, but it was a step in the right direction--forward.

I was attemtping to entertain Patrick a few minutes ago and started playing him all the videos I have of him on the computer. He was having a great time. He imitated whatever the baby on the video was doing. If the video Patrick laughed, Patrick laughed along with him. When that baby talked, Patrick talked too. When he bammed, Patrick bammed too. I wonder if he realized that baby was also him. It certainly kept him entertained for a long time, though. And watching him watch himself kept me plenty entertained as well.

No News Yet--Updated

Matt's at the dentist right now getting those wisdom teeth out. He was told he could drive himself both there and home, so he left me here and took care of everything himself. I'm so worried about him. Ever since news got out (sorry Matt!), everyone has been telling their own horror story about wisdom teeth removal. That didn't seem to be making him feel any better about it. I hope things are going well and that it's not as awful as he's been imagining.

I won't know anything yet for a little while. I'll probably try to update tonight sometime to let you know how it went, whenever I can around my nurse and mommy duties.

In case you're worried, here's a picture guaranteed to make you feel better.
Patrick was full of personality yesterday, in the best possible way. He kept me laughing all afternoon and evening and was truly a joy to be around. Days like yesterday remind me that all his frustrating stubborn days are worth it. I just hope days like that happen more often!

Update: Matt got home around 2:00. It took less time than I expected it to. He was still mostly numb at the time, but he was starting to feel some pain already. I rushed off to get his prescriptions filled and pick up something for him to eat for the next day or so until he can get off that liquid diet. He's coping pretty well, but I can tell he's in pain. Poor thing.

And all of you who told those horror stories, don't worry about it. I shouldn't have even mentioned anything earlier. But that's just one of the things people do. I can't tell you how many horror stories I heard about labor when I was pregnant. Now Matt will have his own story to tell when someone tells him they're about to get wisdom teeth out. Really, it's ok and there's no need to apologize for telling your horror stories.

Games He Plays

Patrick has started to be more interactive in his play in the past few days. I told you yesterday about him imitating Daddy with the spit thing. He also imitated me yesterday afternoon during playtime. He kept bouncing up and down while he sat, dancing to the music I guess. I started doing it too, and every time I "danced," he did the same.

Then he started waving his hands in the air then bamming them on his thighs. I imitated him (adding the bam sound effect of course), and he imitated me again. We had a fun time alternating between bamming and dancing.
He's played peek-a-boo for a long time. If we put a blanket or burp rag over his head, he would work to get it off, then shriek with laughter when we said, "Peek-a-boo!" As much as he loved that aspect of the game, though, he wouldn't initiate it on his own. That's been changing some recently, but today in particular he's had a blast pulling the blanket up over his own head to play peek-a-boo. I suspect it's a stall tactic to not have to go to bed as soon--he hopes the game will distract us from the idea of bedtime. I don't buy it for a second, but I still like to see him play with us.
And then just a few minutes ago, he figured out the roll-the-ball game. I would roll a ball towards his lap, and he'd "roll" one back to me. His roll resembled a drunken toss really, but he understood the concept of the game. I suppose we'll have to work on the rolling idea next.
Today's big news is about Matt, though. He had a routine dentist appointment yesterday, in part to consult about his wisdom teeth. He knew at some point they needed to come out. He didn't expect the dentist to offer to cancel his afternoon appointments to get them out yesterday while he was there. The dentist seems to think it's urgent that they come out right away, so Matt is scheduled to get them out tomorrow. That way he could have the whole weekend to recover.

We're all a bit anxious about the "procedure" (it sounds more like a minor surgery to me). I hate seeing Matt in such pain, almost as much as he hates being in such pain. I also hate that I don't really know what to expect. I can't really sympathize with him, as that is one of the very few dental procedures I haven't experienced (lucky me, born without any wisdom teeth).

Anyway, keep us in mind this weekend as we deal with the aftereffects of the procedure. I have no idea how I'll keep my husband fed; something tells me French fries aren't on the approved food list.

The Spit Game

Breakfast this morning was tame in comparison to yesterday. While I was braced for the worst, I was determined to keep a good attitude and not to let my impatience force me into treating Patrick in a way I would regret later. As a result, we were both calmer. Patrick wasn't particularly thrilled about his cereal, but as long as I didn't push him to eat, he eventually opened his mouth and ate each bite. It also helped that I didn't prepare as much cereal as yesterday so that the torture wouldn't last as long, if indeed it ended up being torture. I felt much better when it came time to lift him out of his high chair, as it had been less traumatic than yesterday.

I wonder if part of his recent unpredictable attitudes over the last few days has to do with teething. It's been a long time since any teeth have broken through, and he's showing many of the classic signs of teething. He pulls on his ears from time to time, he's had a loose diaper or two, he chews on everything. I hope if it is teething that he gets the teeth soon. The poor guy is endurng his suffering well, but it's obvious from time to time that he doesn't feel great.

He doesn't mind that other common teething sign, though. The excessive drool is providing all sorts of fun for him. He's suddenly remembered Nana's spitting trick, and he does it all the time. I feel like I need a sneeze guard at mealtimes to protect against the regular spray of food. I love that it has encouraged him to make up a new game to play with Daddy. Daddy imitates his spitting thing, and then he imitates Daddy. They spit back and forth for a long time. That's lots of fun when I'm holding Patrick and caught between them. Last night he continued the imitation when Daddy suddenly switched from spitting to saying, "Dada." Several times Patrick repeated "Dada" right back to him. So cute!

I had my own moment with Patrick just a few minutes ago. He was ready for his afternoon nap quite early and was clinging to me. Since it was early, I was reluctant to put him back to bed yet. So I stood next to his crib and held him for a few extra minutes before putting him down. He snuggled up into my shoulder and let me sing lullabies to him. It was so sweet the way he got really still like he was listening and was comforted. He hasn't let me do that in many months. I hope these sweet moments don't dwindle as quickly as I'm afraid they will now that he's getting more mobile.

Breakfast Wars

Stubborn will against stubborn will turned Patrick's breakfast into an all-out war. By the end, it even resembled a war zone, with rice cereal splattered everywhere.

It all started before I'd even prepared the cereal. Patrick was upset with me for taking so long to get food in his belly, and he sure let me know. It was most certainly the cry of a hungry kid--hungry and impatient.

Hungry as he was, though, as soon as I got the rice cereal in front of him, he started turning up his nose at it. It only took a few bites for him to refuse to eat it. He pursed his lips, turned his head away, and even glared at me every time the spoon got near.

If I'd been in a better mood, I probably would have shrugged and thrown out the cereal and let him go hungry. Unfortunately, though, I was tired, cranky, and under the weather (another breast infection). His snobbery brought out the worst in me, and we engaged in a battle of wills...again.

I waited with each spoonful of cereal until he had a weak moment and I could sneak the cereal in his mouth. Then I admonished him to swallow so I could get another spoonful in. I griped at him when he would fuss at me. Every time he reached up to push the spoon away or dump the cereal off it, I pulled the spoon out of reach and slapped his hand. "No!" Then I held the spoon in front of his mouth again, waiting again for him to open.

The whole process took forever, and I found myself fighting to keep a semblance of patience. It was a cooler morning, so I'd warmed his cereal a bit longer than normal--not long enough to burn him, but enough that it wouldn't cool too quickly. Not that it mattered, though. Patrick took so long to eat that by the time he was halfway done, the cereal was a nasty, cold mush. There was no way I was going to warm it for him, however. He'd turned his nose up at it when it was warm, so I wasn't going to do anything out of my way to make it more appetizing. The meal was turning into a punishment.

I know that's probably one of the worst things I could do to encourage him to eat more. I think I even realized it at the time. I had flashes go through my head of stories my dad would tell about being forced to eat cold oatmeal for lunch and dinner because he wasn't able to finish it for breakfast. The last thing I want to do is give Patrick a reason to tell stories like that when he grows up. But I wasn't able to give in and let Patrick win.

I'll admit to my moment of bad parenting this morning and learn from it. I can't decide what would have been the best course of action, though. He needs to eat. I'm worried that he's still not gaining as much weight as he should be, so skipping a meal because he turns up his nose at it is not a good option. I also don't want Patrick to think that I'll find something more appetizing for him just because he doesn't like a meal. He needs to learn early that he eats what is prepared for him; even his doctor said as much a few weeks ago. Based on those other options, my reaction seems appropriate. But it didn't feel right to me then, and it still doesn't now. I don't know what is best, especially when none of the possible reactions was flawless.

Ok, enough of that. What do you think about the Princess Leia look for Halloween?
Yeah, he wasn't so fond of it either. Ooh, I know what would have been neat if I'd thought ahead. Matt could have gone as Han Solo, I could have been Princess Leia, and Patrick could have been an Ewok. How cute would that have been?

Remind me again why we still have a bumper in his bed?

We lowered the mattress in his crib this weekend, and we're still getting used to how much lower it is. He doesn't seem to mind it, though. The bed still sleeps the same, apparently. Now he can't reach the blankets hanging over the top of the crib, and he can't try to pull himself up, which he was just starting to do last week. It's more of a bed again and less a play area.

The exterminator just left. He confirmed that the smell in our bathroom is definitely a dead animal. Matt and I both breathed a sigh of relief (through our mouths). A dead animal may be disgusting, but it doesn't require major work on our house. Yeah, and this is the guy who kept telling me there was no way we had mice in our attic, even after Matt found mouse droppings and saw a mouse run in front of him. Matt also found a dead mouse stuck in a glue trap a few days ago. It was freshly dead, so not the source of the smell, but it confirmed there were mice in our attic after all. Now we just get to wait out the decomposing phase until the smell goes away.

Back to the Boy

I feel bad for focusing so much on non-Patrick-related items lately. Even though I don't have any new Patrick pictures for you today, I'm still going to tell the Patrick stories from the weekend that didn't make sense in yesterday's post.

My favorite is from when Matt was washing the car. Patrick and I spent part of that time outside keeping Matt company. Patrick absolutely loves being outside, so it was easier to entertain him outside, especially with Daddy around. We situated ourselves far out of range of the water, but close enough to still chat with Matt. I think Patrick wished we'd stayed closer, though--not only to be closer to Daddy, but also because he found he was fascinated with the water hose. Every time Matt sprayed the car, Patrick laughed with glee. Let's say that the car got rinsed extra well, just because we loved hearing the sound of that laughter.

Patrick also discovered his outside voice at the same time. His little sounds and chattering escalated to a new volume level. We suspect he particularly liked hearing his voice when he yelled towards the open garage because of the echo. That encouraged him to find new sounds and a new volume. As long as he keeps that outside voice outside, I'm fully in support of him experimenting with new volumes.

We hit another milestone this weekend, too. Patrick is now wearing size 3 diapers. After month after month in size 2's and then being at the transition between 2's and 3's (Pampers), he's finally graduated completely to size 3's. We had to switch to the inferior Huggies for the last month or so because he fit perfectly into their weight range for size 2's. His awkward size made it difficult to find the perfect diapers. But now after the last two weeks of sudden weight gain, he's broken the size barrier to fit size 3's. I'm excited. I love these new diapers...although probably only because they're new.

Today I'm going through his drawers to pull out anything he can't wear any longer--either too small or too summery. The weight gain has also made it necessary to get the rest of his 6-9 months clothes ready for him. Well, the weather too. Last night's cold spell reminded me that we really need to find warmer sleep clothes for Patrick before the next cold night. I don't know that these new clothes will fit well yet, but at least they'll be warmer. I'm just worried that his 6-9 month wardrobe is still too summery. Matt and I may have to still supplement with more sleepers, pants, and long-sleeved clothes. At least we'll still have a few more warmer days before we switch completely over to the winter wardrobe.

The funniest story of the weekend happened yesterday on our several outings. We were waiting to check out at Half-Price Books (I'm infatuated with the store), and the family waiting in front of us stopped to chat with us for a few minutes. I had to force myself to answer without laughing when the mom asked how old "she" was, pointing to Patrick. Patrick was decked out in all blue, with baseball logos on the front. His hair was doing that little boyish thing it does (I can't even describe it better than that today). I have no idea how he could be mistaken for a girl. Wouldn't that make a great Halloween costume, though? One pink dress and a pretty bow and we'd be set! Unfortunately, Patrick would probably be the one haunted for life when we showed him the pictures, so I think we'll stick with the costume we already have.

Baby Gate to Hell

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.We finally decided on a baby gate. After much debate and consideration of everyone's opinions, we settled on the gate pictured above. As you can see, it is long enough to stretch across the entire opening, and looks and feels quite sturdy. I love the soft mesh feature, too. The only semi-problem is that it attaches to the walls. Matt and I were hoping to avoid damaging our walls, but we came to the conclusion that it was worth risking the damage if it met all our other requirements.

So yesterday we went and bought this gate. Anxious to install it and get the play area set up, we went right to work as soon as Patrick went to bed. We drilled all the holes, as instructed, then attached one end to the wall and began stretching the rest of the gate to attach it to the other wall. The attached end ripped right out, leaving big holes in our wall. Obviously we were frustrated.

We scrutinized the instructions. We'd followed them to the letter. They even included instructions for the situation that we had--attaching straight to a wall, not a doorframe. We had done nothing wrong. The problem was either with the gate--not designed for use directly on a wall, perhaps--or our house.

We must be stupid, because we decided to try again, around the corner, which felt much more secure. Sure enough, one hole partly drilled and the drill stopped. It had hit metal. Yes, metal in our walls. We're still clueless as to why the builders of our house put metal in our walls.

We just shrugged and tried again. This time we pulled out our stud finder to search for a better location to fasten it, one that would hold the screws but not a metal spot. (Ok, I could joke about the stud finder all day, but I'll spare you.)

We found a stud, according to our cheap stud finder (no wonder it went off near Matt...heehee). We drilled a hole. It apparently found plywood or something else not stud-like. The drill wouldn't easily drill through it. So we gave up. There is something wrong with that wall that absolutely will not allow anything to be fastened to it. How useless is it as a play area when you can't even attach a baby gate to the wall?

Today we went back to Babies R Us--again. We took back the baby gate I loved that our house didn't and were planning to exchange it for another gate. We were uncertain as to what to do. We still don't like the idea of the two gates on either end of the whole area, especially because of how limited our choices would be when we could only use pressure-mounted gates. We finally settled on this one.

I'll be honest that there are some things about this solution that I really don't like. But at least it's not permanent, it requires no more holes in our wall, and it can be moved from room to room as needed. I don't like that the whole play area won't be used for several years when he graduates from needing a gate, but it's the best solution given our complicated situation. Pictures to follow as soon as we get it from walmart.com.

Unfortunately this baby gate drama doesn't end there. In the course of our incredibly productive day, we found several other problems. Here's what we ended up doing yesterday:

1. Matt mowed the lawn.

2. I did four loads of laundry, one as a result of...

3. Matt washed the car. He went through more towels than expected because of...

4. When he got the towels from their location under the guest bathroom sink, he noticed they were damp. Later he checked again and found a leak under the sink. My handy husband managed to fix our plumbing leak on his own (with some advice from his dad). That means we found two problems with our house just yesterday, though--the wall and this leak. Both are things that could have been avoided if the house had been built right in the first place.

5. We attempted to install a baby gate.

6. In the process we created ten big holes in our wall, so Matt filled them with spackle and repainted them.

7. While the touch-up paint was out, Matt searched the house for other spots that could use touching up.

Oh, in addition to all these new problems, we still have a stinky closet and bathroom. Our efforts to get rid of the smell are helping, but it's not gone. Our neighbor, whose house was built the same time as ours, told us yesterday that he's having a problem with plumbing in their house, to the point that they have sewer gas stinking up their kitchen because of the faulty plumbing. His house is about to undergo major repairs to fix the problem. Now we're hoping and praying there is a dead animal rotting in our attic, because that will be much simpler than having sewer gas, which means a corner of our house knocked down and rebuilt, essentially.

As you can tell, this weekend has not exactly gone as planned. It's been a comedy of errors, one problem after another. I have no idea how Matt and I have kept our good humor. I guess it could be worse, though. Now that the weekend is quickly ending, we have a house that is in no worse shape than it was to begin with, despite our mishaps. If anything, it's in better shape, now that the leak is fixed and the spots on the walls have been touched up. Either way, I'm hoping next weekend is a little less exciting.

Perspective Shift

I think I may have figured out why Patrick's recent rebellious behavior has been frustrating me so much. My reasoning may also explain why he has so easily frustrated me all along, any time he would cry excessively or at inappropriate times.
I wonder if somewhere along the way I forgot what parenting is all about. I forgot that Patrick is a child, another real human being, an individual. I tend to be a control freak about anything I can control, and somehow I assumed Patrick would be something I could control. I should have figured out that wasn't the case when he chose to come two months early, a situation clearly out of my control.
Since that day, I have let myself get out of sorts any time his behavior didn't follow with what I hoped and expected he would do. Part of me understood that a young baby couldn't listen to me and stop crying merely because I asked him to. But another part of me expected exactly that. I remember how frustrated I was at my brother's wedding when Patrick screamed during family pictures. I'd envisioned family photos, the first Patrick was in, with a happy grinning baby in my arms. I still regret some of the words I whispered into his ear in my frustrated attempts to calm him, words that were meant for him but were overheard--words that I wish now nobody had heard, especially Patrick.
Now more than ever I'm being forced to come to terms with the idea that Patrick is a real person, not my puppet or even a predictable pet. He is exhibiting a real sense of individualism, of independence, and I need to recognize that as a good thing, a natural development. As he grows up, that independence and control of his own actions will only increase. My control will continue to decrease as he further develops his sense of self. But as a parent, my job is not to control his behavior, but to teach and train him to want to behave the way I want him to. It's a very different perspective, and I don't really know how to go about parenting him that way, especially when he's still this young. Realizations like the one that hit today remind me that parenting is truly a huge job, an important one, and not nearly as easy as my parents made it seem.
Here's Patrick on his other ride-on toy he got for his birthday. I wish he would discover if he moves his feet that he can move the toy. He's so eager to go places on his own and this could be such a help to him. He sure will be excited when he figures it out, won't he? In the meantime, it's a fun sit-on toy instead.

Daddy's Boy

Matt made a request of me the other night, one that I was all too happy to accommodate once I saw the logic in it. He asked me to adjust Patrick's medicine schedule. He had been getting his meds at 8 in the morning, 4 in the afternoon, and midnight. The schedule worked most of the time because I wasn't getting up too early or staying up too late. The only problems I had were when I was particularly tired and midnight was much too late.

So Matt asked if I could adjust the schedule to give him his meds an hour earlier each time. At first I hated the idea because waking up at 7 seemed awfully early. Then I remembered Matt wakes up that early on a daily basis. It'd be wrong for me to turn down his suggestion because I didn't want to have to wake up as early as him. I also realized that since I wouldn't have to stay up as late, later than Matt usually does, to give his midnight meds, seven in the morning isn't quite as early.

So yesterday I worked on adjusting his schedule to wake up with Matt this morning. It was every bit as early as I'd been dreading. I can't even remember how long it had been since waking up before the sun. Patrick was completely out still when I snuck into his room with his medicine. He must have suspected something was up, though, because he was repeating, "Dadada" from the moment I got him out of bed. He was elated to find Daddy waiting for him in the other room. I can't recall the last time Patrick was so content to be awake in the morning, especially that early.

I'm worried it's going to cause problems eventually, though. As it is, when Patrick wakes up in the mornings, his morning nap, and his late afternoon nap (when he gets one), his Daddy is usually home or about to be. He seems to already be settling into a pattern of expecting Daddy to be around when he wakes up. The only time he's not around is when Patrick gets up from his afternoon nap. I wonder if he's going to start being difficult to deal with anytime he wakes up and Daddy's not around. We wonder if that's part of the reason he threw a tantrum yesterday afternoon. There was nothing clear he wanted then, and he's never thrown a tantrum at that time of day before, so that's our only guess.

On the bright side, it was a good start to the day for all three of us. Patrick's been in a better mood than normal because he got to see Daddy more. The schedule actually worked to get me a little more sleep than normal. And Matt had a great morning at work--although that may have been due more to his own accomplishments than spending time with me or Patrick.

It'll be interesting to see how well the schedule works on the weekend, when Matt and I stay up later already and Matt doesn't have to get up early, but I still will. I guess it will be worth it if I get to spend so much more time with him during the week. I also suspect it will be easier to make myself get ready for church on Sunday when I don't have to rearrange when I wake up to make it on time.

Don't forget that today is most likely the last day to give your opinions on the baby gate dilemma. Matt and I have still made no decisions, and we're desperate for some advice.

The Critter in the Attic Revisited

Matt and I strongly suspect the critter in the attic has returned. Unless it never left, in which case it's still there. Or maybe it's a new one. Either way, something is definitely up there. Unfortunately we haven't heard a thing from this one; we know he's there by his smell.

We think the critter sought refuge in our attic, perhaps escaping the torrential rain the other day, then found the poison left out for it and died. It crawled over into a tight, dark corner of the attic to die. That corner happens to be situated directly above our bathroom and closet.

There's nothing like the aroma of decomposing flesh to get you out of bed in the morning!

Matt and I have attempted to cover the stench with any variety of room fresheners, sprays, and scented candles. We can get the stink to a tolerable level for a few minutes, but then it returns in full force. We're leaving the bathroom closed off as much as possible and avoiding going in the room unless necessary.

I'd love if we could find the critter and dispose of its body somehow so that we can get our bathroom back. But the way our attic is laid out, there is no possible way anybody can get all the way to that tight, dark corner. Besides, it's almost certainly sunk into the insulation, never to be found again. My hope is simply that conditions are ripe for it to decompose quickly. The stink is starting to follow me around, catching me unaware anywhere in the house at any time. I never know when I'm going to suddenly breathe in the smell of the rotting critter. It's kind of sad when I retreat to Patrick's room sometimes because the smell of poopy diapers is better, isn't it?

Anyway, there's not much Patrick news to report today. He's had a couple of better days with fewer tantrums and less clinginess. He's starting to talk pretty much all the time, and I love hearing it. He also dances to music sometimes by bouncing while he's sitting or standing next to the table. It's so adorable. Oh, here's a video I took yesterday of Patrick talking. If you wait a few seconds, you'll see the frustrated chattering I mentioned the other day. I feel mean, but it's hilarious.



I also got some pictures of Patrick playing with his fire truck, his first ride-on/walker toy. He got it for his birthday from his Gigi and Papa. He's still a little too small for it--his feet don't both reach the ground at the same time--but he likes sitting on it and playing the music and watching the little people go around and around in the front.

That crazy song is totally stuck in my head though: "I see a fire truck, a big, red, giant fire truck. I see a fire truck..."

And here he is standing at the table. There's nothing remarkable about this picture, but I like the expression on his face.

One Hour

This morning started out much differently than usual. On most days, Matt wakes me up at 7:30-ish before he leaves for work to say good-bye. Then I fall back asleep until 8:00 when my alarm goes off to get up and get Patrick his medicine and breakfast.

Today Matt woke me up as usual, but the first words out of his mouth were, "Did you get Patrick his medicine earlier?"

I looked up at him, confused and drowsy. "What do you mean? What time is it?"

"It's almost 9:00."

That sure forced me out of bed quickly. I have no idea how I was an hour late for the morning and Matt was closer to two. He'd set two alarms last night on the suspicion that he might have trouble waking up this morning, despite going to bed a little early. My alarm was set too. From what we can tell, all three alarms went off on time, yet somehow together we didn't manage to hear even one. I guess we heard them enough in our sleep to turn them off, but they didn't wake us up.

That has never happened before! I hear Matt's alarm for sure every time; it's so loud and annoying. It's kind of unsettling to think if we can sleep through three loud alarms what else we might sleep through sometime. I'd rather blame it on an alarm gnome, whose evil mission is to turn off alarms in bedrooms secretly at night, making people everywhere late for work.

On the bright side, nobody at work even said anything to Matt this morning about his tardiness. He's usually there early anyway, so being an hour or so late on one day shouldn't be a big deal.

My tardiness has actually had more consequences this morning. Patrick has been spittier than usual because of getting his medicine so late. It's also thrown off the feeding schedule; getting breakfast later made him ready for lunch later.

He was getting up from his morning nap to eat lunch about the time Matt got home for lunch. Even though he couldn't possibly have heard Matt home yet, that was obviously on his mind from the start. He said, "Dada" clearly as I got him out of bed. Then during the diaper change, he repeated, "dada," followed closely by "abba" and then "pop." He was so excited to see his daddy was home after he got to the living room. He would have leaped from my arms into Daddy's if he could have figured out how.

Now he's sitting next to me playing, a full hour after Daddy left to go back to work, and he's muttering, "Dada...dadada" to himself. I think someone has a hero already (or a new favorite word)!

I have a weight update (inaccurate as it is on our scale): 17 pounds, as of right after dinner last night. That means he's gained a pound in a week. Crazy, huh?

Don't forget I'm still taking opinions and advice about the baby gate dilemma. Thanks to all who have already given their opinions. We'll probably buy the gate this weekend, so you have several days left. I'll make sure to let you know what we decide early next week, possibly with pictures of it/them installed.

Breaking His Spirit

Yesterday it all came to a breaking point, this recent hardheadedness our beloved son has begun to show. We had an all-out battle, and I'm proud to say that Matt and I came out the victors.

I'm more than willing to take the blame for letting the problems get this far. Matt and I have most assuredly spoiled Patrick from the start. How can you not spoil something that cute, especially knowing what a rough start he had to life? It didn't help that from the start I couldn't stand to hear him crying. You may remember me blogging ages ago about the first time we had to just let him cry himself out. It killed me then, and surprisingly it hasn't really gotten much easier since then. I feel guilty any time I hear him crying, even when it's just his usual cry-himself-to-sleep tactic.

That's the main reason I've spoiled him. I try to do whatever I can to please him, as long as it will keep him from crying. Occasionally I get tired of being used to give him whatever he wants, and I'll put him in his crib to cry it out, even if it's not really naptime, just so that I can get a short break. But I'll feel guilty almost immediately, so I go rescue him before I probably should.

Yesterday afternoon was one of those occasions. I've started having problems with my legs again (remember the achiness from a month or so ago? It's back) and haven't felt much like pacing back and forth across the house carrying a baby, which of course is all Patrick wanted. I gave up shortly before Matt got home and left Patrick in his room so that I could sit down for a few minutes without a crying baby in front of me.

Matt rescued him from his crib when he got home, and Patrick was in a particularly chipper mood. He was so happy to see his daddy; he even sat completely still on Daddy's lap for a good five minutes, watching TV--that has to be a record. It was so sweet to watch him gently play with Daddy's arm hair, perfectly content just to be close to Daddy.

And then all hell broke loose. Patrick got tired of being on Matt's lap and wanted down. And then he wanted back up. But then he didn't want to be held in the chair; he wanted to be walked again. Matt made Patrick look him in the face and laid down the law. "You can either be happy playing on the floor with your toys, or you can go cry by yourself in your room." Then he put him on the floor with his toys.

Patrick whimpered for a few more minutes, but Matt and I completely ignored him. We were in the room with him, but we refused to look at him or cater to his whims. About the time the crying started to escalate again, Matt repeated the ultimatum. Patrick gave a last cry and then gave up. For the rest of the evening we had our fun, happy Patrick back. I didn't realize how much I'd missed him. It was great to watch him play happily on his own or try to get Matt's or my attention by simply looking at us in a cute way, instead of screaming. I guess he suddenly figured out that Daddy was serious and that he wasn't putting up with any of that nonsense anymore.

All day today, happy Patrick has stuck around. We had a moment or two not long ago when he was upset with me, but that's not bad considering it was naptime and Patrick was also running a low-grade fever again (still from the shots; the doctor warned me one might do this). For a sleepy, sick boy, that's pretty good.

I have a feeling the testing isn't over yet. I know that was only the first tiny battle in this war of wills, but at least we came out the victor this time. We also know better how to handle him when he truly is just testing us. I just hope the terrible twos aren't simply one test after another for the entire year or so. I want to enjoy this happy Patrick much longer before he transforms back into the demon he's been for the past few days.

On a different note, I want to plead again to all you mothers out there for advice about our baby gate dilemma that I mentioned yesterday. Thank you to the grandmas for putting in your two cents. As long as we still haven't bought the gates, though, I want to keep taking opinions. What gates do you have? Do you like them? And what about our unique situation--any advice there? (Go back and read it...please.)

Sorry for the Day Off

I apologize for taking a day off from blogging yesterday. It wasn't that I had nothing to say; I just chose to nap during the few seconds free to blog during the afternoon. I probably could have blogged later last night after he went to bed, but it made more sense to me to just wait until this afternoon to blog instead. For that reason, though, this is probably going to be a monster marathon post. Sorry!

One thing I didn't think about with feeding Patrick so much more is that more food equals more poop...and more spit-up. I'm ok with the more poop thing. I can handle poopy diapers much better now than a year ago. The problem is the more spit-up. I'd been working on slowly weaning him off his reflux meds as the spitting up got better over the past few months. One medicine is known to have some pretty crazy side-effects, and I worry some having Patrick on it, even though he hasn't shown to have a problem with the medicine at all. And our co-pay for the other medicine just doubled the last time we got it refilled. We would all be happier for Patrick to not be on any medicines any longer.

Unfortunately, though, the increased food in his belly is forcing him to spit-up a little more again. It's still not anywhere near as bad as it was a few months ago, but it's enough that I'm slowly working my way back up to his allowed dosage of the medicine right now. And as he gains more weight, he will be allowed more and more of it. I'm hoping his belly gets used to being more full soon and stops with the spit-up again. I'm so ready for this reflux thing to be in the past.

I could swear that yesterday Patrick said, "Dada." We were in the car, but Matt was distracted at the moment and didn't hear it. Now I'm questioning myself whether that's really what I heard. Patrick hasn't repeated it, so it's hard to know for sure. He did spend the weekend trying out all sorts of new sounds. He can say s's, t's, d's, h's, n's, and of course the usual b's and m's as well as any number of vowel sounds. It's all babble right now, other than "mama," but it's getting more decipherable every day. My favorite is that instead of merely screaming to express frustration, he has started yelling at us using his made-up words. It's hilarious to hear. I wonder what he thinks he's saying to us. I'll work on getting a video of it because it's too cute not to share.

Speaking of him expressing frustration, though, he did plenty of that this weekend. I hope Heather is right in her comment on the last post that Patrick truly is in the terrible twos already. I have no idea how I'll cope if this is supposed to just get worse next year. Already he screams at us non-stop when he doesn't get what he wants--even though most of the time we have no idea what he wants--or when we make him do something he doesn't want to do right then. Where'd my compliant, snuggly baby go?

Ok, I need some help from more experienced parents out there. Patrick is quickly approaching full mobility, which means that it's about time for Matt and me to finish baby-proofing. First of all, is there anything you other parents found to be crucial in that area that you wouldn't necessarily think about ahead of time?

Our next problem has to do with baby gates. We are hoping to turn one room of our house into a baby-proof play area, and we need to somehow block the room off to keep Patrick in the room. It doesn't have a door, though, so the simple baby gate solution won't work. Here's what we're working with:

(And no, I didn't vacuum for the picture. It always looks this nice...really!) The first picture is taken from the hallway by Patrick's room. The second picture is taken from the hallway you see all the way to the left in the first picture. We're debating between two options for baby-gating it. We can either:

1. put a baby gate at the end of each hallway as you enter the room. This means they cannot be pressure-mounted gates because they're not in doorways. We're reluctant to install gates permanently because of how new the house is, but we'll do what we need to do. We also can't use the standard size gates because the hallways are somewhat larger than doorways.

2. put a long cage-like baby gate all the way across the front of the room, making a "hallway" in front of them, connecting the two true hallways. (Does that make sense?) This would be a more expensive gate option, but it would most likely be more flexible, as it might be able to be moved to other areas of the house, depending on which gate we get.

So which option seems to be the better option? And what kind of gate should we get? Have you had success or failure with any kind of gate in particular? We've read reviews about all the different gates, and they are all mixed. Someone always hated every gate, claiming the plastic was flimsy or it was too difficult to install, and someone else swears by it and wouldn't dream of ever buying a different one. It makes it difficult to know what will work for us and our situation. We could really use some advice here!

And to finish up today, how about a few pictures of Patrick from the weekend?

Is it just me, or does that face look much rounder than just a few days ago?
He loves this gear toy. If you push a button, it lights up and sings and rotates all the gears. Patrick loves playing with the gears too. His favorite thing, though, seems to be turning the toy over and dumping the gears on the floor. The other day we thought we'd lost one of the gears after he did that, and we searched everywhere to find it with no luck. Finally I checked under the toy one more time. The missing gear was fit tightly on a peg on the bottom, which means it had stayed hidden when we just lifted the toy enough to peek under it. It nearly drove us crazy searching for that gear; we couldn't believe that it turned out to be in such a simple spot.
Ok, so he didn't exactly get this one for his birthday. Like father, like son! He's fascinated with the computer. It will probably be another year or two before he's building his own, though.

It's Working

Operation: Stuff the Kid seems to be going quite well so far. The other day after the doctor's appointment I weighed Patrick at home to get a baseline on our scale so that I could continue to weigh him from time to time to gauge his progress. When I weighed him then, he was 16 pounds. It was obviously an estimate, since it only measures pounds and half-pounds. It's not accurate by any means, but I figured it would help me know how quickly he gains weight.

Last night I weighed him again. It showed he was 16.5 pounds, up half a pound already since Tuesday when I weighed him the first time. Even taking into account the inaccuracies, it proves he has gained weight since Tuesday. I'm hoping it's that full half-pound, but it's more likely a quarter of a pound or so. Either way, he has to be growing at a faster rate this week than over the last few months. I'd say that's good progress.

Sometimes at meals, I think Patrick just gets bored before he gets full. It's becoming a challenge not only to put enough food in front of him to fill him up--and food he will eat--but also to keep him entertained the whole time he has to sit in his high chair to fill up.

On the other side of things, I'm starting to wonder sometimes if he is entering the terrible twos way too early. He'll go through a rebellious stage for a couple of hours each day. During those couple of hours, he refuses to do things the way Matt or I wants them done. He will fight us every step of the way, kicking, screaming, and biting if we make him do something he doesn't want to do right then, like take a nap or leave a "toy" (like the remote control) alone. Just this morning, he bit Matt several times, pinched his face, and kicked him in a sensitive spot. Last week at his birthday party, I had to spank him in front of the guests when he bit my shoulder in retaliation for me letting other people hold him. It's getting quite frustrating. Does it get any better before it gets worse? Or are his terrible twos really going to test my limits, especially when he learns how to say no?

For a Kid Who Can't Crawl...

I keep repeating that phrase to myself these days: "For a kid who can't crawl..." While Patrick definitely can't crawl yet, he certainly is mobile. He can't sit still on a lap anymore, and instead throws that body around, squirming into all sorts of new positions. He attempts to crawl to the taboo "toys" nearby--cell phones, remote controls, etc.--and climbs/crawls up us. He pseudo-crawls to the edge of the couch and would crawl right off if I wasn't still holding him. On the floor, he throws his body towards me regularly, grabbing at my shirt or hair to pull himself a little closer. Eventually he ends up on his belly, where he can now squirm in circles and back and forth at a much greater speed than ever before. He may not be able to maneuver those knees under his body yet, but he seems to be coping fine without being able to crawl.

Yesterday I tried a new food with Patrick--canteloupe. I thought he would like it ok, even though neither Matt nor I will touch melon of any kind. I'm not sure whether it was the taste or the cold, but this is the reaction face I got:
He seems to be getting more used to it now, though. The third time I tried the canteloupe, for breakfast this morning, he fed himself two whole pieces of it. I'm hoping persistence teaches him to like it eventually.

We really must have been starving him, though. At lunch today I fed him the usual 7-ish oz of baby food and then poured some fruit puffs on his tray. At that point I usually make myself lunch, often a PBJ sandwich that Patrick covets. I've been giving him pieces of crust off my sandwich, but I decided if he likes the sandwich that much, why not make him one? So I did. He got a half-sandwich for lunch today, with a thin layer of peanut butter and grape jelly. That half-sandwich, half of what I eat for lunch? He very nearly finished it--after the usual Gerber's and some fruit puffs. He probably ate as much as I did for lunch. Could this be why he wasn't gaining weight?

I'm trying to take pictures every day or so of Patrick playing with all his new toys from his birthday, just to prove how thankful he is for everything he got from his wonderful family.

Here's Patrick playing with his learning drum. He hasn't figured out this is a bam toy, but he likes watching the lights on the top anyway.

The hammer is another bam toy that he hasn't quite figured out yet. It apparently tastes good, though, and he loves the flashy light on the end.

And his lobster from his Great-Grandma Fisher in Maine...what an appropriate gift! Mommy has one just like it, too, but he doesn't care about that one. He loves his own lobster, named Lenny. It's so cute to watch him with it. He'll also hug it and laugh when its tentacles brush his face.

If at First You Don't Succeed...

Even before reading the comments on yesterday's post, I decided to try one more time to take professional-looking pictures of Patrick for his first birthday. I set up an area in our house that would much more closely resemble a studio and planned out some things that would look different from all the other pictures so far. Naturally not everything worked out the way I'd hoped, but I still think these look different. The debate in my head is still raging, though. I'll admit even to myself that these pictures are better than usual, but will I be content with them replacing real professional pictures?

So what do you think about these? Keep in mind I have only done a little surface editing on most of them and that I can work with constructive criticism if you have any. And I'm taking suggestions for locations to get professional photos made, if anybody knows any in the western Houston area.


I'm kind of surprised that I managed to get decent pictures yesterday. I've still been fighting a fussy boy. He's had his moments when he's been his usual charming self, but in general he's acted like he hasn't felt really well. He had an even higher fever last night, I'm assuming from the shots still. His allergies have still been bothering him, too, so we found a different allergy medicine for him to try last night. Between not feeling good and the medicines, he sure has slept well. I guess that's the bright side to the puniness.

Still, I can't help but worry some. I'm assuming the sniffles, sneezing, itchy eyes, and occasional cough are a result of allergies. Matt and I have also been fighting drainage since the weekend, so it follows that Patrick would be having similar problems. But the discussion with the doctor Monday about the dangers of RSV has me worried now that this is more than the sniffles. I'm listening closely to his breathing every chance I get for the hint of a wheeze or other breathing difficulties. So far nothing. I'm trying to decide whether it would be paranoid to call the doctor to report that Patrick is having allergy problems. I don't want to wait too long to call (like I did a year ago, which unintentionally put Patrick in the hospital for five weeks), but I don't want to call only to find out that I'm already doing everything I can for him. My gut says it's just allergies, but my gut also said those contractions a year ago were only normal pregnancy pains. I just don't want to turn into the stereotypical overprotective preemie mom.

How about an update on Operation: Stuff the Kid? Matt and I have tried several different ways to get Patrick to eat more. We've found that feeding him more Gerber's works best, much better than encouraging him to eat more finger foods. I can easily feed him about 10 oz of Gerber's at one meal a day and 7-8 oz at another meal and then follow it up with finger foods. He still gets his afternoon snack, and Matt and I have made it a point to offer him some of whatever we eat at meals. Patrick isn't so sure about big boy food yet. He grimaces at anything new going in his mouth, even if it turns out to not be so bad. His favorites are still French fries and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's just hard to draw the line between encouraging him to eat more and forcing him to eat more. I don't want him to develop a complex about eating later on because I've forced him to eat now. I guess that's why pushing the Gerber's is best; he continues to willingly eat as much of that as I can feed him.

To follow up on the post about the doctor's appointment the other day, I want to apologize for not being clear in that post. I was incredibly frustrated about the fact that Patrick cried most of the time and that I couldn't do anything to comfort him. I wasn't, however, worried about the weight issue. I suspected it was something the doctor needed to pay attention to and that we needed to keep an eye on it, but it wasn't and isn't anything I'm worrying about. I went through a similar non-growth spurt when I was about his age, and I half expected Patrick would do the same thing. It should be reasonably easy to fix, and judging by his seemingly endless appetite since we started feeding him more, I think he'll fatten up quickly.

So now you've seen my favorite ten pictures from yesterday. What do you think?

Return to Normal

It's nice to see everything settle back to normal. Yesterday was the first normal day after the weekend trip, and there was something very comfortable about the normalcy. Even then, though, I was still catching up on a few things from the weekend, in particular showing off the birthday party pictures on the blog. In that respect, today is truly the first normal day again.

To celebrate the return to normal, Patrick and I both slept late today. We're finally catching up on the sleep we lost over the weekend. Patrick's also sleeping much more than he did over the weekend because he's feeling somewhat under the weather. Last night he finally had a reaction to those shots from Monday. It was only a slight fever, but with it came some fussiness. He even woke up in the middle of the night (for him...10:00 for us). He cried and cried. We don't know what woke him up, but he sounded a little congested. Both Matt and I have also been fighting allergies since getting home from Dallas, so I'm sure that's all it is. He's been sneezy this morning too. It's kind of gross to have rice cereal and applesauce sneezed all over you (two different sneezes). We're just keeping Patrick on allergy meds, which are helping him sleep and helping him feel better.

When he's awake, though, Patrick has been having lots of fun playing with his new toys. We finally broke open the last new toy yesterday. It is basically a video game for toddlers and babies. While we haven't hooked up the video game part of it yet, Patrick is having fun playing with the controller part that makes cool noises even when it's not hooked up to the TV. I think it is the front runner as his new favorite toy. (Wait until he figures out how to make that fire truck go, though!)

He started two new things on Monday shortly before heading to the doctor's office. Great timing, huh? While waiting to leave for the doctor, Patrick was playing on the floor. All of a sudden he rolled over on his belly, where he played happily. You may remember that until then he'd always screamed bloody murder on his belly, so this was a great development. He had a lot of fun playing with the book we had just been reading.





Oh, yeah, and he wouldn't let go of that hairbrush, which is apparently still one of his favorite toys. It may not be a new toy (or even a toy at all), but it is sticking around as a favorite, even with all those new toys.

He also started saying new sounds. On the drive to the doctor, I suddenly heard, "Bababa" from the backseat. Sometimes it comes out as "Ba" and sometimes as "Bwah." I wonder if "bwah" means brush, since he says it often when he plays with his brush. I love hearing him talk. His little voice is so cute.

He still doesn't say real words other than mama, but sometimes his babbles come out sounding like real words. Yesterday he said, "Oh, boy" while playing and then repeated it later in the day. Then during a diaper change yesterday, a poopy one no less, I could swear he said, "Poop." Since he laughs every time I repeat that, I wonder if he did have an idea what he was saying. Either that, or he just thinks it's funny to both hear and say.

I've been debating whether to get professional photos taken of Patrick for his year pictures. I decided to at least try my hand at it first. These are my favorites from yesterday. What do you think? I like them, but I know professional ones will have an entirely different look. Considering we've never had professional pictures taken before, it might be about time. I don't know. I was hoping yesterday's pictures would easily solve the debate for me, but they didn't. Any advice or opinions out there?



This last one is definitely my favorite, but I don't know that it really fits what I expected as his official one-year photo.