He's such a flirt!

Patrick, that is--not his daddy (well, except with me). :) Now that Patrick has seen our reaction to his huge grins, laughs, and coos, he has started doing them for everyone. As if we didn't already get plenty of attention for just having a baby with us. Patrick has also developed a habit of tucking his chin and turning his face to the side when he grins big, like he's shy. I think he's found that we think that is extra cute. He has already learned how to completely manipulate us!

Last night I was holding Patrick not long after he had eaten when he started getting fussy, but not the fussy like he was hurting. I got tired of him squirming in my arms, so I set him down and curled up near him. He immediately turned his head toward me and started "talking" and flirting with me. It was so cute! Clearly all he wanted was my full attention. I'm starting to think he might actually like me--and not just because I fill his tummy.

Vacation update: Today is another quiet day. I had plans of going shopping this afternoon but discovered as I was getting ready to leave for lunch that I couldn't find the car keys. Matt, by habit, put them in his pocket as he was catching the shuttle to his class this morning. Fortunately there is a Burger King within walking distance, so I didn't go without lunch. I couldn't use the stroller, though, because it's still in the car. Oh, well, I suppose the shopping extravaganza will have to wait until tomorrow. I need to find a pair of shorts and a short-sleeved shirt or two. Now that February is on its way, spring has apparently arrived. It was close to 80 here yesterday and will be for the rest of the week. I packed for late winter, not late spring!

New Hobbies

Yesterday Patrick found his voice. He has been laughing and making some "ga" sounds for a few weeks, but yesterday he discovered his voice can be used for much more than that. Now he spends a lot of time smiling and chattering at me and his daddy. He squeals, coos, and "ga"s in response to almost everything we say. He is so charming! Too bad we didn't think to pack the video camera on our trip. We'll have to get some clips of him "talking" when we get home next week. I might even be able to post them on the blog if I can figure out how.

So far our vacation has been pretty quiet. Patrick and I have mostly just hung out in the nice hotel room, but we're planning some shopping trips for later in the week. What fun we get to have while Matt sits learning all day! Patrick is adjusting to the hotel routine well. He did wake up in the middle of the night last night, but he went back to sleep easily. It helps that he's in a familiar bed (we brought his playard that he slept in until just a couple of weeks ago). All in all, it's been an enjoyable and lazy vacation so far.

Precious Moments

Early this morning after Patrick's first feeding of the day, he started getting fussy. Instead of running for his pacifier or the baby Tylenol, I just held him close for a minute. He relaxed and leaned his head against my chest almost immediately. I was touched that my mere presence comforted him. That was a first, at least as far as I can remember. The closeness drew emotions from deep within me that I don't recall feeling before, at least not to that extent. I think this morning was the first time I truly felt the fullness of motherhood. Because of the surprise of the pregnancy followed by the suddenness of his delivery and Patrick's stay in the hospital, it was difficult to feel that strong bond of motherhood. I was thrust into the role (not that I minded) more than I chose it. There were times it was hard to realize that the new responsibility in the house was much more than that; it was my own son, a part of me, someone I'd had a part in creating. This morning as all this washed over me, I could do nothing else but thank God for my husband and my son, both of whom I love with all my heart. Those few quiet precious moments are some I will cherish for a lifetime.

By the way, we are in Austin this week for a class for Matt's job. We have a great hotel suite with Internet access, so I will likely still post every day. Expect updates from Patrick's and my vacation while Matt works. This is the greatest part of being a stay-at-home mom; I can drop everything and come to Austin for a week when Matt has to--and I get to call it a vacation!

Newer Pictures

I caught him mid-yawn; it only looks like he's screaming. Unfortunately, I think this will be the last time he wears his patch puppy dog sleeper. Too bad--it's "doggone" cute. Hehehe.

Patrick loves lying on Daddy's belly. I guess the camera surprised him here. Aren't my men too handsome?

I love this close-up of his face. You can also see how well his hair is coming in. It's lighter than I thought it would be. I hope it stays blonde--and maybe it will be curly like his daddy's. Wouldn't that be adorable?

A Change of Scenery

Although the teething tips are starting to roll in (thanks to all who have contributed!), Matt and I haven't made it to the store to try any yet. That means that the incessant crying has started to take its toll on us. Last night we were both at our wits' end, so Matt suggested just going driving, just for the change of scenery. It ended up being a wonderful idea for several reasons. It helped both of our moods to do something different. Downtown Houston was beautiful last night, with low clouds ahead of today's "cold" front resting atop the taller buildings. We also got to see areas of the city that we don't typically venture into. In addition, the drive put Patrick right to sleep. He didn't fuss at all, waiting to start again until we got back in the house. That hour and a half of peace and adult conversation returned Matt's and my sanity and prepared us to deal with a fussy baby again for the rest of the evening.

Patrick had a rough night, though. He slept reasonably well until about 5 am when he woke up screaming. Neither Matt or I had any idea what was wrong. He had his last meal of the night later than normal, so he shouldn't be hungry that early. It might have been the teething, but it was hard to tell. Matt rocked him for a while, and he fell back to sleep. When he woke up to eat several hours later, I discovered what the problem must have been. For the first time, he woke up covered in his own urine. Apparently the diaper can only hold so much. I bet he was uncomfortable being wet, and not just in the diaper area. I guess from now on we need to check that a little sooner when he wakes up crying in the middle of the night. Chalk that one up to inexperience!

Today has been a better day so far. I got to have a playtime/smile-fest with him earlier. He normally doesn't smile at my attempts at baby-talk and play, just his daddy's. I felt really special that he showed me the same affection. THAT must be one of those rewarding times everyone tells me makes teething, etc. worth it. He only got fussy from the teething pain a little while ago. We finally tried baby Tylenol. Why the heck didn't we try that sooner?! He got quiet just a few minutes later and is now sleeping comfortably with his daddy. We will still probably try all the other suggestions later too, but this is working for now.

Expect another picture or two later. I've been avoiding taking pictures of him the last few days, because I haven't wanted everyone to see just how fussy he's been. I caught him during his smiley time earlier, though, so I might have some pictures worth posting now. Check back later for those!

Relief At Last

Patrick is suffering endlessly from his first foray into teething. Matt and I have tried everything to soothe his poor gums, or at least distract him from the pain. We have found that he is temporarily distracted by being rocked--while we are standing, of course--and walked around the house. My arms and legs are already sore from that much rocking and walking. Even that didn't console him earlier, so I got inventive. The only things Patrick can keep in his mouth are Daddy's or Mommy's fingers or his Soothie pacifier. The other pacifiers we've offered him help but fall out (I think he doesn't like them and pushes them out on purpose). So I got the idea of using the Soothie as a teething ring. That's much better than leaving my finger in his mouth all day; having him connected to my finger would get old fast. I put his Soothie pacifier in the freezer to get it nice and cold, just like the traditional teething rings. Because the nipple part is hollow, I was even able to fill it with water and freeze it. Finally, something worked! He's still quite content fifteen minutes later. I think I'll rotate the pacifiers so that one is always in the freezer waiting on him.

Uh-oh, he's fussy again. The pacifier is back to his body temperature. Hmmm, I guess that didn't work as well as I thought, at least not long enough. Time to get inventive again...we'll see what I can come up with this time! If I can't come up with something, I may just go crazy. This crying is much worse than most cries and grates on my nerves something awful. It also makes me almost sick hearing him cry and knowing how little I can help him right now.

No News Yet

I was hoping but didn't truly expect the doctors from yesterday to call with a verdict yet. Maybe tomorrow we'll find out for sure that Patrick is freed from his apnea monitor... Meanwhile, we are enjoying his relative freedom. He has seemed happier today without his monitor attached. The skin on his chest is getting some time to heal before getting tape and sticky leads stuck to it again this evening. It's weird carrying him around the house without his "extra appendage" as we've been calling the monitor--so much more convenient.

He's been extra fussy and spit-uppy (is that a word?) today too. I'm going to attribute it to his incoming teeth. I feel bad that he's so uncomfortable, though. I don't know what to do to help him. He has started fighting me with all his strength when I go to burp him after eating. It's very frustrating. The bright side is that by doing so, he accidentally showed me that he can sort of sit up on his own already. He can balance himself on my lap without any support for a few seconds. It won't be long before he's sitting up entirely on his own all the time!

I also think Patrick has figured out who Daddy is. When Matt was about to walk in the house when he came home for lunch, I leaned over to Patrick and said, "Daddy's home!" Before, Patrick had been staring off into space and seemed entirely uninterested in anything but the spot he was fascinated with. As soon as he heard Daddy was home, he looked at me and smiled the biggest grin, even around his pacifier, and giggled. He did the same for Matt when he saw him. I love seeing him turn into such a daddy's boy.

Good News

So today didn't exactly go as expected. It was supposed to be another quiet day at home, laundry day. Patrick woke up about an hour later than usual--good for me; I got all that extra sleep. Then while he was eating, my phone rang. He was scheduled for an appointment with a specialist to determine if he can be off his apnea monitor in April. His pediatrician really wanted him to go in earlier than that. The call was from the specialist saying they'd had a cancellation and asking if we wanted to take an appointment today. Of course I didn't even hesitate to accept. Matt and I have suspected for weeks that he shouldn't be on the monitor anymore.

The trip itself was quite frustrating, with Patrick screaming as I got lost in the construction maze of the Medical Center. He screamed enough that he made his monitor go off, the setting for too high a heartrate. It seemed like everything was happening at once, and I had to force myself not to panic. We still made it there a few minutes early, though. Thank goodness.

The appointment was relatively uneventful. They weighed him and got vital stats (9 lbs 6.6 oz; 21 1/4 inches still). Then the doctor saw him. He said from what he could tell, Patrick is fine, a perfectly healthy baby. In his personal opinion, Patrick doesn't need the monitor any longer. He hesitates to advise us to take him off it yet, though. He is waiting on information stored in the monitor to be evaluated to determine if he has had any true attacks in the past eight weeks. Once he has gone eight weeks without an attack, the monitor is gone. We should hopefully know by this weekend, Monday at the latest. Stay tuned for an update as soon as we know something!

By the way, after all that fussiness on the way to the doctor and while he was getting weighed, he managed to find his happy baby personality long enough to smile at the doctor. I think he just likes new people.

21 lives

Nope, we don't have several cats. What has twenty-one lives today is Patrick's apnea monitor. It went off twenty-one times last night...and each time, it was lucky I didn't take it and find a lake to drown it in or back over it with the car. Needless to say, Matt, Patrick, and I didn't sleep terribly well last night. Patrick slept better than we did, but he's still fussier than normal today, suggesting to me that he didn't sleep as well as normal. I woke him up repeatedly in the hopes that it would cause him to breathe more heavily or that readjusting him would make his leads pick up his breathing better. No such luck. If I wasn't so paranoid, I would have just turned off the stupid thing. Instead I just sacrificed my sleep and that of my husband and son. Is that selfish?

The cutest thing happened last night. Patrick was fussy again, which happens often in the evenings. Matt and I tried just about everything to help him, from soothing his sore gums to burping him again. Nothing worked. Finally Matt just held him close to his chest and rocked him back and forth. In no time, Patrick was soundly asleep. Patrick is definitely growing into a daddy's boy. I should probably be jealous, but I love it!

Some Punny Pictures

Patrick must be in "train"ing to be a software engineer, just like his daddy.

Patrick just "bear"ly fits into this sleeper anymore, even though it's still one of his favorites. He likes sleeping in "bear" feet.

Sorry about the puns. I just couldn't resist! Got any to add?

A Change in Routine

I decided to try a different routine with Patrick today. I don't know why; the one I used last week seemed to be working well. Last week, both Patrick and I were showered before Matt made it home for lunch, and I'd had plenty of sleep. Today after Patrick's 7-ish feeding, I just stayed awake. Patrick was happy and smiley, and I couldn't bear to make him go right back to sleep like I normally would. So we stayed awake and smiled at the curtains and lights (I swear he's going to grow up to be an interior designer based on his fascination with curtains and lamps and other lights). I thought he would go back to sleep after his next feeding, but he didn't. He was charming enough that I didn't want to leave him even long enough for a shower. I finally gave up after his 1:30 feeding and just put him in his crib for a nap. Thankfully he cooperated. I got my shower, but it's late enough in the day that I can't sleep. Oh, well, no nap today. Maybe Matt will handle him later this evening so I can get to bed early.

There's not much else going on. My mind is a bit too tired to function properly, so no super creative or profound posts today. Maybe later...or tomorrow...

Expect a few more pictures posted later. I have a couple of super cute ones I just can't keep to myself.

One more picture today

This is the whole sleeper. You can sort of see the cars on it now. It also says "Vroom!" Too cute! I don't like how the cords to the apnea monitor are showing. Our "bionic baby" (thank you Uncle Nick) is plugged in here. By the way, it is sized 0-3 months, one of the first of the bigger size that he can fit into relatively well. 

He's not as bored as he looks!

I absolutely love Patrick in this yellow sleeper and had to get a picture of him in it. This is him getting a little tired of posing for all the pictures. He got a little fussy, so we gave him his pacifier. If you think it's big now, you should have seen him with it in the hospital! Of course, as soon as the photo shoot ended, he started smiling and laughing at us. He was actually playing peek-a-boo with us. 

Disappointed

We were supposed to go to church this morning. After moving this summer, Matt and I never found a church to call home. Then when Patrick came, we spent Sundays driving across town to visit him in the hospital. We weren't allowed to take him places until recently either. So it has been months since we've gone to church (except a few times with my parents in Dallas). I've been missing it a lot more than I thought I would; it's left a void in my life. When we were freed by the doctor earlier this week, we decided it was time to start the church search again.

And then this morning it rained. I woke up to a monster storm. It didn't go away until about the time we were scheduled to leave. If it had been the two of us, Matt and I would probably have braved the storm anyway. We were reluctant to take Patrick out in the nasty weather, though. Instead of being hopeful that it would go away in time and getting ready anyway, we just went back to bed. It's good that we got our sleep, but I'm still disappointed. I was really looking forward to the social interaction and spiritual fulfillment I've been missing. And now it's raining again.

On a different note, Patrick is most definitely teething. I didn't believe it when I wrote it a few days ago, but after doing more reading, I'm convinced that's the problem. It doesn't exactly make the incessant crying easier to tolerate, but at least I have a few ideas on how to help his pain. Most of the ideas don't work for him, though. If any of you know how to soothe a teething baby who is the size of a newborn and can't even hold teething rings to his mouth yet, let me know. I'm getting desperate for ideas! Fortunately it doesn't seem to interfere much with his sleep. Patrick slept right through the loud thunderstorm this morning--and it was right about the time he usually wakes up to eat. He definitely gets that from his daddy!

Aaah, the weekend

I love lazy weekends. Matt and I didn't get up until after noon today. Thankfully Patrick cooperated relatively well. Since then we've done nothing other than find lunch. Now Patrick is sleeping soundly on his daddy's belly. I think that's his favorite way to nap. It's so cute.

Last night we took Patrick on one of his first outings. Because of his prematurity, he is at an increased risk for a serious, very contagious respiratory virus. We had been advised to keep him away from crowds of people to decrease the risk that he catches it. At the last doctor's appointment, however, the doctor amended the advice because of how well he is doing. Patrick can go out as long as he isn't around lots of little kids or people who are obviously sick. Since then he has gone to the grocery store with us, and last night Chili's.

My brother and his fiancee were in town for a few days for a convention, so they came over to hang out last night. We all went to get dessert after a relaxed dinner here. Matt and I finally felt ready enough to brave a restaurant without a take-out line with Patrick with us. It was definitely fun, but overwhelming. We have been out so little in the past few months that it doesn't take much. I felt like Patrick must feel when we overstimulate him: unsure of where to focus with all the activity, increasingly detached from that activity, and finally just zoned altogether. It was good to get out, but I think we'll have to stick with short trips for a while until Matt and I get used to it again. Patrick did just fine, though. He seemed to be enjoying himself thoroughly. It didn't hurt that people were awwing over him pretty constantly. He certainly likes being the center of attention!

Here is my first attempt at adding a picture, as promised. This is, of course, Patrick. He is just chilling in his bouncer chair. He loves this chair when he's in a good mood, which he obviously is right now. Here's one of his rare sweet smiles. I just barely missed the laugh.

Dwindling Intellect

Patrick slept nine hours almost straight last night! He only woke up once, and all I had to do was stick his pacifier back in his mouth to get him to fall back asleep. He's been a pretty happy baby this morning because of how well he slept. Thank goodness!

On an entirely different topic, I think motherhood is making me stupider. I've noticed my slow intellectual decline since just before Patrick was born. I've had greater difficulty finding the words I'm looking for, I don't think about very abstract subjects anymore, and I've even lost some of my passion for reading intelligent, challenging books. Matt suspects there is a biological reason behind it. Perhaps the fatty acids (or whatever exactly it is) that Patrick needs to encourage his intellectual development come from what I have stored up to support my own needs. In effect, I am feeding him my smarts through my milk. I have an alternate theory, though, that may work with Matt's idea. The sleep deprivation that comes with having a new baby must surely get in the way of any intelligent ideas. And when I am awake and not too tired, I am usually on a one-track mind--taking care of Patrick. I just don't have the time to stimulate my mind much. It's kind of sad. I've gone from discussing onomatopoeia and subordinate clauses (I used to teach English) to commenting on poopies and farts.

I finally figured out last night how to put some pictures on my blog, so you can expect to see some new ones later. Of course, they'll pretty much all be of Patrick. He's the cute one, after all! If you want to see more, visit our family's website (under "my home page" along the side).

Rant (the first of many, I'm sure)

Right now, I have a happy baby. Patrick just woke up from a short nap and filled his belly, so he's squirming and smiling at me now. Thank goodness after such a fussy morning. A happy baby makes a happy mommy, I've found.

This mommy wasn't so happy this morning, however. After fussing for a while after going down for his morning nap, he finally fell asleep a little too well. For those of you who don't know his background, Patrick was born prematurely and stayed in the hospital for just over five weeks. He was only allowed to come home on an apnea monitor, a small electronic monitor that keeps track of his breathing and heartrate. If it doesn't register a breath for twenty seconds, an ear-piercing alarm shrieks to let us know he's stopped breathing. He only had apnea in the hospital because of a severe case of acid reflux. This is a condition common to newborns (not necessarily preemies), and the apnea as a result of it is most likely unrelated to his prematurity as well. Since coming home from the hospital, Patrick has not had a true episode of apnea. The monitor, however, disagrees. It is much too sensitive, especially because Patrick breathes more shallowly when he is sleeping well. The monitor goes off repeatedly at night and during naps, interrupting Matt's and my sleep.

This morning, I had just fallen asleep for my "mommy nap" that I take when he takes his morning nap when the alarm sounded. I got up, checked him, reset the monitor, recorded the false alarm, and fell back into bed. Not two minutes later, the beeping started again. I repeated the cycle. The third time the alarm went off, I stayed in Patrick's room to make sure it didn't go off again. While I was standing next to him, it happened three more times. I gave up on sleep. I had to wake Patrick up from his nap to make the monitor stop.

And there began the fussiness. Now I had a sleepy baby on my hands who was awakened from his nap before he was ready. You can imagine the rest of my morning. He cried because he was tired, but then couldn't fall asleep because he was crying. I know I should treasure these moments when he's tiny, but I can't wait until he's old enough to tell me what's wrong and to use enough common sense to not get in my way when I'm making it all better. Of course, I know as soon as he can talk, I'll probably wish he couldn't again! Parenting is so rewarding!

Don't you hate it how most blogs start with stating a purpose? Why do blogs have to have a purpose? Aren't they just the ramblings of people with nothing better to do with their time? So why am I blogging? Because I'm one of those people with nothing better to do with their time. After all, I don't have a job. Never mind that I'm still considered a newlywed and now a stay-at-home mom too. The truth is that I regularly read several blogs, most of which are not exactly updated often enough for me, and I want to prove it's really not that hard to keep up with. That means this will keep up for about a month, based on the blogs I read. Nevertheless, here goes nothing.

Sorry if nobody wants to read the daily goings-on of Patrick, my three-month-old son, and Matt, my husband. That's pretty much my whole life right now, so that's what I'm going to write about. The most interesting event of the day was getting spit up on while the exterminator was here. Or maybe the most charming smile Patrick gave me during an early morning diaper change--right after a fart that was definitely not Patrick-sized.

And now as I sit sort of watching Family Guy reruns with Matt while Patrick enjoys (meaning "cries during") tummy time, Matt notices tooth buds already forming on Patrick's gums. He's three months old, and born two months early. He should be developmentally at the level of a one-month-old. I shouldn't have to worry about teething for at least three more months. I was impressed with how quickly he was developing, until I'm faced with the possibility of a fussy baby for the next few months. At least life won't be boring, just frustrating. I hate not being able to take away his pain.

Here ends my free time for the evening. It is feeding time, yet again.