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Thursday, January 19, 2006
Rant (the first of many, I'm sure)
Right now, I have a happy baby. Patrick just woke up from a short nap and filled his belly, so he's squirming and smiling at me now. Thank goodness after such a fussy morning. A happy baby makes a happy mommy, I've found.

This mommy wasn't so happy this morning, however. After fussing for a while after going down for his morning nap, he finally fell asleep a little too well. For those of you who don't know his background, Patrick was born prematurely and stayed in the hospital for just over five weeks. He was only allowed to come home on an apnea monitor, a small electronic monitor that keeps track of his breathing and heartrate. If it doesn't register a breath for twenty seconds, an ear-piercing alarm shrieks to let us know he's stopped breathing. He only had apnea in the hospital because of a severe case of acid reflux. This is a condition common to newborns (not necessarily preemies), and the apnea as a result of it is most likely unrelated to his prematurity as well. Since coming home from the hospital, Patrick has not had a true episode of apnea. The monitor, however, disagrees. It is much too sensitive, especially because Patrick breathes more shallowly when he is sleeping well. The monitor goes off repeatedly at night and during naps, interrupting Matt's and my sleep.

This morning, I had just fallen asleep for my "mommy nap" that I take when he takes his morning nap when the alarm sounded. I got up, checked him, reset the monitor, recorded the false alarm, and fell back into bed. Not two minutes later, the beeping started again. I repeated the cycle. The third time the alarm went off, I stayed in Patrick's room to make sure it didn't go off again. While I was standing next to him, it happened three more times. I gave up on sleep. I had to wake Patrick up from his nap to make the monitor stop.

And there began the fussiness. Now I had a sleepy baby on my hands who was awakened from his nap before he was ready. You can imagine the rest of my morning. He cried because he was tired, but then couldn't fall asleep because he was crying. I know I should treasure these moments when he's tiny, but I can't wait until he's old enough to tell me what's wrong and to use enough common sense to not get in my way when I'm making it all better. Of course, I know as soon as he can talk, I'll probably wish he couldn't again! Parenting is so rewarding!

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