Memorial Day Weekend

I apologize for taking my time blogging about the weekend. I didn't want to blog without pictures, and I haven't had the time and motivation to take care of them both at the same time...until now.

As you may have already gathered if you read that last short post, we did get definitive results at the ultrasound on Saturday. Nathan was being quite cooperative this time--at least in showing off his manliness (he was a bit more shy about letting us see his face). There was no doubt in anyone's mind this time about what exactly we were looking at. See for yourself.

Look where the arrow is pointing if you're having trouble figuring out exactly what is in this picture.

Even though it was a bit early to get great 3D shots of his face, I wasn't disappointed with what we saw. The people at the u/s place were, though, so they offered to let us come back next month to try again. If there's any way we can make it on the weekend of June 23, you'd better believe we'll be back in Dallas to see our baby again--this time for free! Until then, here's a pretty good idea of what Nathan's face looks like. It's a little E.T.-like right now, but more because of his age than anything else. I added some labels for those of you who have a tough time "reading" a sonogram picture.

I actually have a lot more pictures of the face than this, but I think this one turned out the best, so I'll spare you the rest (and myself the time to upload them all).

In the next post (look right under this one), all the good Patrick pics from the weekend.

Memorial Day, cont.

Warning: picture overload ahead...

Patrick grew up this weekend. I had no idea what a profound effect his relatives would have on him. Okay, I kind of suspected they would end up affecting him, but I figured it would be more on the crazy end of things. Instead, he matured to attempt to meet the level of the adults around him. It's a good thing he's going to have a younger brother and cousins to help him stay a kid around all the adults at family events soon.

He even looks more grown up, thanks to his first salon haircut. I won't go into the torture that is cutting a toddler's hair (thanks Mom for playing bad guy during that), but once he left the salon, he seemed to really love his new haircut. I have to agree. He grew from a young toddler to a miniature pre-schooler with just a few snips of the scissors.
His vocabulary grew immensely over the weekend, too. I can think of two new words he says now off the top of my head and one he learned to associate with much more.

Yesterday when we called Nana, Patrick started waving at the phone and saying, "Bye!" He hadn't gotten the two--waving and "bye"--in sync until this weekend when he went bye-bye several times every day. Now when he thinks of bye-bye, he thinks of going to Nana and Ba-pa's house. Speaking of that, he figured out what to call my dad (Grandpa). He calls him Ba-pa, because that's what he can pronounce that's close. How adorable is that? We're still working on the other grandparent names; even though he has proven to us that he can say Nana, Gigi, and Papa, he won't use them to identify his grandparents yet.

Sorry for all the Nana pictures this time around. He was acting really cute with her--while standing in one place! I took the opportunity to take lots of pictures, which turned out really well.

We got to see that goofy grin on his face nearly the whole weekend. Patrick loved having the task of entertaining the family with his antics and equally loved having each of them play with him as well. That squealy laugh rang through the house regularly any time he was awake. How come you guys can't hang out with him all day every day?

Uncle Nick is quite the accomplished pianist, and he was attempting to teach Patrick the trade. As much as Patrick loves music--and his Uncle Nick--he had fun "learning." Of course, moments before this picture, he displayed his comfort with his uncle by leaving him a smelly present in his diaper--hence the expression on Nick's face.

Patrick also had a lot of fun with his Aunt Jennifer (or Aunt Jill, or whatever nickname sticks for this aunt Jennifer). He wouldn't pose for the camera with her, though. Despite what it looks like here, he smiled a lot when Aunt Jennifer was playing with him.

Of course, his favorite part of the weekend had nothing to do with people. He remembered the cat immediately (kit-ty!), in the short time he saw her before she hid in "her" room from the mean old dog who showed up with Uncle Nick and Aunt Jennifer. That didn't bother Patrick any; the dog was just as amusing. He laughed at every doggy thing she did, like bark or scratch herself or run around the room. He also learned her name almost immediately. It doesn't hurt that it closely resembles "kitty"--Katie. He pronounced it very carefully: Kay-tee, emphasizing each syllable and that t. He has even asked for her since we got home. We may just have to try the dog thing again sometime after Nathan gets here.

We also went shopping over the weekend--naturally--and picked up a few new outfits for Patrick. I think this one wins as my favorite so far. It's a pair of mechanic's overalls (hard to see on the pocket, but that's what it says). They fit perfectly and look so cute on Patrick.

Not that it hurts that the first thing he did after getting them on was lean down next to his car like he's going to fix it. That's my boy!

A Change

Anybody notice the change made to the blog? It's more subtle than a template change but more obvious than a minor sidebar change. Keep looking... Let me know when you find it!

Emptying my Camera's Memory Card

This has to have been my favorite task in getting ready to go out of town this weekend, much more fun than doing laundry or making packing lists (okay, so I'm still getting around to that one). I suspect it's a good idea to start the weekend with an empty memory card, and you get the benefit of the best of the pictures from the last few days. The captions will be in Patrick's own words (if we could figure out what he was really saying).
"I love it when Daddy's home so I can play with his shoes."

"Here, Daddy. Let me help you put on your shoes so we can go bye-bye." That's his main goal of every day, going bye-bye.

"You should see how fast I can walk when I really get going."

"I love my daddy so much. And the funny thing on his ear that has a blinking light."

"That brick wall just outside these windows is fascinating, isn't it?"

"Yup, got my blankie and my doo-doo-doo. What more could a boy want?" (He refers to his fire truck as his doo-doo-doo. You'll see why when you watch this video.)

I may not post actual pictures again until we get back from the long weekend, but I hope to collect a lot of Patrick with all the relatives (and puppy and kitty) he'll be spending time with. I will definitely try to post a little something on Saturday when we get home from the ultrasound, hopefully some definite news one way or another. Until then, think pink!

How Did It Happen?

I suppose the transition has been slow, but it feels like overnight Patrick has turned into a big boy. I watch him run back and forth across the living room playing with whatever toy is his most recent favorite and wonder what happened to that little tiny fragile baby boy we brought home from the hospital not that long ago.
He has gone from a dependent baby who could only cry to make his needs known to an independent toddler who is learning to communicate with words, gestures, manipulation, and tantrums. He has gone from our baby who was a part of our family because he happened to be the baby the nurses put in my arms on that October afternoon to our little boy who is part of the family because he wants to be, because he loves both of us as evident by his spontaneous hugs and Daddy squeals. He has gone from the placid baby who ate whatever was placed in front of him, whether it was breastmilk or smushed bananas, to a defiant toddler who eats what he wants when he wants and would rather go hungry for a meal than dare eat something that doesn't meet his current standards. He has gone from that clumsy baby who couldn't even hold up his own head or hold anything more than Mommy or Daddy's finger to a competent toddler on the verge of running who has not only finally figured out how to hold his own sippy cup while he drinks (sometimes anyway) but can also do so while walking.

I'll take myself down Memory Lane from time to time by looking at all our old pictures of him and lament that sweet, helpless baby from not that long ago. But then I look up to watch Patrick run towards me with his comb and then dip his head so that I can comb his hair for him, then run away again happily while holding the comb to his head trying to comb his own hair. I wouldn't miss this independence, this developing personality, for the world. As frustrated as I get at his stubbornness (payback for my own childhood, I know), I love knowing that he knows his own mind and can stand firm until he gets what he wants. There is something endearing in being able to laugh with my son, knowing that he is deliberately trying to make me laugh, instead of laughing at something silly he's done unintentionally (or worse yet, something we've done to him).

Most of all, I just love the little person my son is becoming. I love that I get to watch each little step he takes in becoming that person and that I was chosen to have a hand in helping him become that young man. Sure, I'll always miss that tiny baby that I was blessed to have for longer than most, but the greatest blessing is watching that baby grow into a little boy and eventually a man.

Oh, the Cuteness

How about a few pictures and a story?
Sometimes he takes after his mommy, reading his books (although sometimes upside-down) for a long time before moving on to other toys.

He's started using his sleepy-time blankie as a daytime toy, too. I think he knows how cute he is when he walks around trailing the blankie behind him or snuggling with it on the floor or playing peek-a-boo with it.

This is how he walks around with the blankie, with one hand over his shoulder.

The one story I have for today is totally unrelated to the pictures, but you'll humor me and let me tell it anyway, right? Patrick has learned to sing, kind of. He loves it when I push the button on his fire truck to play its song: "I see a fire truck..." He stares mesmerized at the little people who go in a circle at the front of the truck as it sings. After about the first three times hearing this catchy tune, I caught on to the words and sing them nearly every time we play the song. When it gets to the instrumental parts, though, I sing "do, do, do" along with the rhythm. Patrick has picked up on the "do, do, dos" and now sings them along with the song. Even when he doesn't exactly sing at the right place in the song, I praise him. It is so completely adorable to see him both singing and mimicking Mommy. I'll have to get a video of this before long, if he will let me. It's so fun to watch him figure out what he does that is so cute and then repeat it any time he's trying to get our attention.

The Best Decision of My Life

Two years ago today was one of the best days of my life. I made some promises that were easy to make, that I have never been tempted to break.
In memory of that day two years ago, I make those promises again. Matt, I still promise to love and cherish you, through the best times and the worst (we've experienced both in the last two years), until my dying breath and beyond. Thank you for being my best friend and loving me no matter what, even when I don't even like myself too much. You're a wonderful man and husband, and I don't deserve you--but I'm oh, so glad you chose me anyway. I love you with all my heart. I look forward to the next two years, and the two after that, and on and on as long as God will allow us to remain together. Happy anniversary, sweetie.

Thanks to my brother Steve for the photo.

Another Check-Up

Yesterday was my turn for another normal prenatal check-up. I'd been dreading this one in particular because it was the first one I had to go to alone--except for Patrick of course. That's where the dread came in. The last appointment we had, Patrick was impossible to keep entertained. Thank goodness Matt was with me to take most of the pressure off; it was more his problem that Patrick wouldn't quit crying than mine. But this month, it was entirely my problem if that happened again.

Patrick acted sleepy and fussy yesterday morning and never got a nap before we left (that doesn't mean we didn't try), so I expected the worst. Instead, he gave me his best. I have a feeling seeing Patrick in the waiting room only made those future moms want their babies even more. Never have I seen a more charming and good-natured toddler, especially when I know how active he usually is. Regardless of what the doctor was going to say, I knew the appointment was going to go well just because of Patrick's wonderful behavior.

Still, it was good that the doctor was so encouraging. The baby is still doing fine. I'm measuring at 21 cm on my belly, which at this point should correspond pretty closely to how many weeks along I am. That means I'm right on track*. The baby's heartbeat has moved up just a bit as well, into the 160s now. Oh, and I've finally hit my pre-pregnancy weight again!

I had three things in mind I wanted to talk about with her, all starting with an s (that's how I knew I could remember). The first was that I had been feeling kind of sick over the last week. Of course I was a little worried, mainly that I'd contracted another urinary tract infection, but she consoled me well. None of the symptoms are particularly worrisome alone, and not really all at the same time either. I am most likely just at the point in my pregnancy where certain symptoms are flaring up all of a sudden. To be on the safe side, though, she did have me leave a sample to get tested for a UTI, just in case.

The second s was the shots she had mentioned at my first prenatal check-up to possibly postpone labor to prevent an experience like last time. I vaguely remembered that she'd mentioned they would start at 24 weeks, which is coming up pretty quickly now. It turns out that I don't necessarily have to go into her office to get those shots; we can give them alone at home if either of us feels comfortable giving the shot. That was encouraging to hear because I'd been dreading that daily trek and long wait with an unpredictable toddler every single week. We'll have to see whether Matt thinks he can handle the shots (he's a bit uncomfortable around needles) before we make a final decision about how to get them in me.

The last s was the sonogram (okay, technically it's an ultrasound, but sonogram starts with s). My doctor had the report from whoever analyzes the ultrasounds, and every single aspect was listed as normal. There wasn't a specific note that we didn't get a good shot of the kidneys, but there wasn't a note that they were normal either. When I pointed that out to the doctor, she said that possibly could leave an opening for another ultrasound. It depends on our insurance. Apparently most insurance doesn't help pay for repeat ultrasounds unless something serious is found, which thankfully isn't the case for this baby. She was supportive of the idea that we look into 3D ultrasounds, though.

So guess what we did this morning? We set up an appointment for a 3D ultrasound. I found a place that specializes in them a short distance from my parents' house. They just happened to have one opening left on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, when we'd already been planning our next trek up there, so I jumped at the opportunity. That will be so much fun, even if we don't get the best pictures of the baby (they suggest at least 25 weeks for good pictures; I'll be 24). Mom and Dad will get to come with us, and Matt's parents might just be able to make the trip as well. The place is very family-oriented, so they encourage filling that room with as many guests as possible (up to six). We may have a mini-party to find out for sure whether this baby truly does have a "deedle."

*Another interesting discovery from the ultrasound was that my due date isn't perfectly accurate. According to the baby's measurements, I'm anywhere from three to nine days farther along than my due date indicates. My doctor said that since the average is only six days different, it's not significant enough to officially change that due date (which is funny because she moved the due date back six days after the first, obviously inaccurate sonogram, which basically puts us back where we started). Because the due date isn't officially different, I'm leaving the baby ticker on the top the same, but feel free to add a week to how far along it says I am. I'm certainly doing that! It also means that if I have this baby early as well, it will be quite advanced and healthy for a whatever-weeker, since it's technically a whatever-plus-one-weeker. (Make sense? I didn't think so.)

**More fun pictures of Patrick to come. Maybe later this weekend.

A New Tradition?

I know not many of you remember, but last year on my birthday Matt took bunches of pictures of me with Patrick. That was the most special present I got last year, even if it only cost him time, not money. This year things worked out for him to do the same. Patrick may have been a bit less than cooperative much of the time, reaching for Daddy instead of cuddling with me, but we still got a few cute pictures. Here are my favorites from the bunch.

(not crying, just making a funny face)

(say it with me...awwww)

And of course we took a couple of belly shots in my new dress, too. This would be me at somewhere between 20 and 21 weeks (we'll probably get an updated due date based on the sonogram at my appointment on Thursday).

Nineteen Months

Dear Patrick,

Today you turned nineteen months old. Suddenly it seems odd to be naming your age in months. All of a sudden you've graduated to years. I can remember giving your age in days and weeks; years sound so old. When did you grow up this much?
This has been the month of full-blown toddlerhood. You walk, walk, walk all over the place. Even playing takes second place to walking. You might pause for a second or two to focus on a toy, but the best toys are those you can cart around with you, like your ball that you will throw and chase, throw and chase all day long. You also love empty water bottles because they are so portable and make a cool noise when you bam them against different objects around the house.

You also talk to me all the time. I love watching your vocabulary develop, even though it is happening slowly. It cracks me up which words are important enough for you to learn first and which you understand well enough to repeat. Who would have predicted "cheese" and "fishies" (goldfish crackers) as the first two food-related words you would say? Today you very clearly repeated "baby" when I pointed out a picture of a baby on the computer. I think you're beginning to understand that babies will quickly become very important in your life. I can't wait for that moment you touch my belly and say "baby."

With the toddler walking and vocabulary comes the toddler attitude, though. You have learned how to throw tantrums with the best of them. You can already throw that body around in the most pathetic ways to try to get our sympathy. I wonder if once your language develops further and you can tell us what is wrong, your tantrums will taper off. At least we will know what needs you have that need to be met. But then I doubt it at the same time. Most tantrums are because we won't let you do something specific, usually something in direct disobedience to us. We understand what you want, and that you understand what we're telling you, and you simply don't like it. Your tantrums are a manipulative tool, and we're not buying it. I need to get a good video of one one of these days, though, to show to you when you're older and can laugh at yourself the way Daddy and I do sometimes.

Speaking of Daddy, he is your absolute best friend right now. You ask for him first thing in the morning and after waking up for a nap, and I'm pretty sure you recognize the ring on my phone that means he is calling me. You can identify the sound of the garage door closing when Daddy gets home from work, and you run (well, walk really fast for you) to that laundry room door that connects to the garage--where you know he will appear really soon. You have a special Daddy squeal that I love to hear as much as Daddy does. Mommy is good enough to have around, but right now Daddy is your everything. He's the same to me, so I can understand how you feel that way.

I appreciate that you make the effort to show me plenty of attention when Daddy isn't around. You've gotten to where you love to cuddle with me first thing in the morning, and I treasure those moments even more than you realize. And even when they're manipulative, I love those times you toddle over to me and lay your head against my leg for a second or two. It may not match a Daddy squeal, but you understand that I need those quiet moments with you and it means everything that you're letting me have them.

You laugh all the time these days--when you're not in the midst of a tantrum--and generally have a great outlook on life. Even when Mommy is hormonal and moody, you can manage to make me laugh along with you at your silly antics. In fact, sometimes I wonder if that's not what you're trying to do. You're my sensitive little boy, already able to set your own wants and needs aside sometimes to attend to Mommy or Daddy. I can tell even now that you will be a great big brother, even when you let jealousy take over from time to time.

Mommy and Daddy love you so much, as much for the crazy toddler you've become as the sweet boy you've been all along.

Love,

Mommy

My Favorite Age Yet

I say this about so many of the new stages Patrick hits, but I think this new one really will turn out to be my favorite. He is perfectly happy playing on his own for a little while, but the second he starts to feel lonely, he turns into a cuddle bug. He will toddle over to wherever I am at the moment and lay his head against me or crawl into my lap for a quick hug before going back to playing.

Patrick really wants me to comfort him every time he gets even the least bit hurt, too. A tiny bump on the head is enough to prompt him to start crying and gesture for me to pick him up. I already know that he isn't hurt badly, but I love those moments when I get to hold him and feel more like a mommy than ever. Yesterday during one of those times he needed comforting, he relaxed totally into me, laying his cheek against mine and becoming a dead weight in my arms. I think he might just have fallen asleep if I'd held him much longer. It has been so long since he's voluntarily settled into my arms like that; I cherish those moments with him the same way I did the first few times I got to hold him in the NICU. There's nothing sweeter than knowing he voluntarily wants to show me affection.

He is still just as affectionate to his daddy as ever as well. He squeals and runs to the door when he hears Daddy come home from work. I'm a great substitute for Daddy when he's at work, but I'm practically forgotten when he's home. I'm not the least bit jealous about it either. It makes me happy, even happier now that I have pregnancy hormones to help, to see that special Daddy-son bond growing. Today they even played catch together for the first time (pictures to come shortly). I nearly teared up as I saw the great pictures I got of the occasion.

Patrick definitely takes after Daddy in some interesting ways, too. He is totally in love with the vacuum. Shortly before bed, something unremarkable happened that put Patrick in need of comforting. We needed to vacuum up the animal cracker crumbs from earlier anyway, so Matt pulled out the vacuum. Patrick instantly squealed and got quiet, watching every move of the vacuum intently. As I stood back holding him where he could see but not touch, I suddenly felt something interesting. The baby was kicking me at the same time. He had woken up to the sound of the vacuum and apparently liked it as well. I think I've got another Daddy clone in here! The moment was particularly special because I felt like a mother of two for the first time; I was holding one child while the other one was begging for attention however he could. It was one of those unexpected, unplanned family moments that I'll always remember, as much for the simplicity of it as its sweetness.

What You've All Been Waiting For

Today was sonogram day! It turns out that everything--that we could see anyway--is perfectly normal. Of course, knowing our family, normal covers a wide range!

Baby was anything but cooperative, though. Every time the tech would get a great view for a measurement and pause the screen, Baby would move just before she could get that measurement. S/he also kept those legs crossed throughout the entire exam, making gender identification difficult, to say the least.

The tech got a few good shots anyway. Here's the face from the side:
This is our best guess at the gender. It looks like that protuberance pointed out by the arrow may just be a "deedle," as the tech put it. Without knowing anything definite, we're leaning towards a boy based on this picture. (Of course, if you blow up the picture enough, it also looks like it could easily be an umbilical cord, which kept getting in the way and looking like something else for a brief second before we identified it as the cord. That's why we're left with as much doubt as we have.)
Baby was apparently pleased by his (?) own efforts at hiding the gender, so he gave us a thumbs-up right after the quick moment of possible identification.

And I always love these shots of the spine. It's one of the few things I can decipher easily with my untrained eye.

So it looks like we're buying mostly gender neutral stuff to be on the safe side, but maybe filling in with blue. And until we know for sure, we're going with what the tech told us; she's the one with all the experience after all. That means we're calling him Nathan Robert--unless he comes out missing that obvious "deedle."