Treading Water

Patrick sorted a shape today! That's right. He picked up the blue circle shape and dropped it right through the blue circle hole. It looked deliberate, enough that he didn't seem at all surprised that it went through. He looked at me like I was crazy for getting excited for him. He hasn't repeated it since, though.
That truly is the only progress he has made recently, though. At less than two weeks from his first birthday, I am beginning to get discouraged. Over the weekend, Matt caught some video of Patrick trying to crawl. I've been debating whether to post it, because while it is funny, it's really very sad. This video closely resembles the tummy time video. He's on his belly doing nothing but screaming. Now he can slowly squirm a few inches backwards, but it doesn't satisfy his desire to be mobile.

I sometimes wonder about his desire to be mobile too, though. He acts much of the time like he couldn't care less whether he can ever move anywhere on his own. He's happy whining until I pick him up and take him where he wants to go.

When Matt and I try to help him crawl at all, he gets angry and upset. He doesn't want us to put him on his belly, no matter what our intentions are. But he'll roll over onto his belly happily on his own all the time now. He just screams at us if he decides he doesn't want to be on his belly anymore and can't or won't roll back over on his own.

I've wondered if maybe he just isn't physically capable of crawling, so I've tried encouraging him to try to walk instead. Not only does he refuse to try standing on his own, clutching at my hands, hair, or anything within arm's reach to hold himself up, but he won't move his legs at all when he's standing up. He'd rather fall on the floor when he's standing at the table (see picture above) instead of moving a foot an inch or two to keep his balance.

I know I have to keep in mind that all babies progress at their own rate. It's just that I already worry about him being so far behind. I don't know of any babies without serious developmental delays that aren't at least crawling at a year. Many are already walking. I know I need to factor in his prematurity, but even then, nearly all 9 1/2 month-olds are crawling too. Patrick is making no moves indicating crawling is even in the near future.

It's very discouraging to me to see the utter lack of progress he is making in almost every area. He has gotten no better at manipulating that sippy cup; he still needs my help to tip it up far enough to sip out of it. I still have to stay close when he stands at the table because of how often he falls. He even still falls while he's sitting once every day or so. We haven't even bothered with moving his bed down a level; it's at the exact same place it was the first time he slept in it. Why bother if he doesn't even pull himself to a sitting position on his own? It's not like he's going to suddenly find a way to climb out.

I don't know what to do, if there even is anything I can do. I feel helpless, unable to do anything to help him get ready for crawling or walking. It's not like I'd really know what to do if there was something. His doctor wasn't worried the last time he saw Patrick, so I suppose I shouldn't worry either. Still...I can't help it. I'm his mother, and that is a major part of my job, after all.

I'm sorry for the "woe is me" post today, but this is what has been on my mind lately. I'm worried, and I can't keep posting only the fun stories and thoughts about Patrick when that's not really what's going on.