There are days when I wish I wasn't a mom, when I long for life before Patrick came. Sometimes I wish I didn't have that responsibility around, and I wait for that next scream anxiously, dreading it, knowing it can't be far away. I just want to be selfish and do what I want when I want, not timing things around whether or not I can finish them before I expect to be needed again. I want to not have to abandon tasks halfway through. I want to take a vacation from my job, one of the few that doesn't have vacation days scattered throughout. There are days when I miss living my life for me, not my miniature boss, and I resent every one of his demands.
And then there are days when I eagerly wait for that next cry, knowing that I'm needed. And those days I can't imagine not having Patrick around to hold, kiss, and snuggle with. I creep into his room while he's still sleeping and stare at him in awe, unable to believe that I am truly a mother and he is truly my son. Those days I feel the wonder all over again that Patrick is a part of my life. I watch as he slowly starts to wake up, that first sleepy yawn, his eyes eventually opening enough to focus on me, and that huge, goofy, drowsy smile when he sees me. These are the days I don't even want to imagine life without him or remember life before him.
And then there are days when I eagerly wait for that next cry, knowing that I'm needed. And those days I can't imagine not having Patrick around to hold, kiss, and snuggle with. I creep into his room while he's still sleeping and stare at him in awe, unable to believe that I am truly a mother and he is truly my son. Those days I feel the wonder all over again that Patrick is a part of my life. I watch as he slowly starts to wake up, that first sleepy yawn, his eyes eventually opening enough to focus on me, and that huge, goofy, drowsy smile when he sees me. These are the days I don't even want to imagine life without him or remember life before him.
Labels: Feelings, Sweet Stories
2 Comments:
Wow! I know just how you feel. I think every mom has those same feelings just like every career woman feels that way about her job at times. A successful person just hangs in there doing the best job possible and at the end of the assignment, she probably remembers the successes and not so much the hard work. Oops... way too philosophical. It must be time to go home and relax! :)
I love the job you're doing with our grandbaby. Enjoy the time.
I agree with Sue he will grow all to fast and you will wish for these days again. I think back when the boys were little and wish I could go back and do it again, it really is way to short of a time before they are grown and gone. We love you all.
Post a Comment
<< Home