That's About Right

I totally should have waited to blog today. Obviously I was scrounging for material earlier. If I'd only waited another couple of hours, I would have had a much more interesting story to tell. So I'm going to tell it anyway, to make up for the fiasco that was the last post.

Our exterminator was scheduled to come by today sometime between 3 and 5. He was going to spray for spiders and put some more glue traps in our attic for those mice (that he still insists shouldn't be there). Rarely do these guys show up right on time, so when Patrick woke up from his nap shortly before 3:00, I assumed I had plenty of time to at least give him a bath before the exterminator showed up. I was hoping to also nurse him first, but that was easier to stop in the middle of than a bath.

So naturally, just as I'm in the middle of soaping up Patrick, the doorbell rings. I remember the proper bath safety and realize I have to somehow take a wet, slippery, soapy, naked Patrick with me to the door. I'm sure the exterminator knew he'd caught us at a bad time when I answered the door completely frazzled with a wet shirt and holding a naked Patrick hastily wrapped in his towel, still with soap in his hair and clinging to his rubber ducky. We made quite a picture, although the rubber ducky made it, I'm sure.

Then of course the first thing the exterminator wants to do is climb into our attic to place those glue traps. The attic trapdoor opens into our garage, directly over one of our cars--the one Matt leaves for me during the day. (You expected that by now, I hope.) Now I was holding a naked, wet, soapy baby clinging to the last hope of a bath, his rubber ducky, and I needed to back the car out of the garage. I figured Patrick had been through enough already, so I didn't even attempt to strap him into his carseat naked (I think that would hurt). Instead I did the horrible bad-mother move of leaving him alone in his crib in the house while I quickly backed out the car. He didn't seem to suffer any from it anyway.

And to top it all off, this was the most thorough exterminator we've ever had from this service. He took his time spraying everything and insisted on explaining every move he made. "Just so you know, ma'am," while holding up the can of spray stuff, "this is the same stuff they use in hospitals. It's completely safe for all you guys." And he glanced at the still-naked Patrick on my lap, although by this time he was mostly dry again.

Anybody else ever have the opportunity to attempt to entertain a naked baby desperate for his bath while following an exterminator around the house for an hour, praying he'll leave and really not caring anymore whether there are mice in the attic or spiders in the shower? I highly recommend it. It will cure you of boredom in a heartbeat!