Half a Year

Dear Patrick,

It's hard to believe that you're six months old today. That's half a year already. That time has flown by, yet it feels like you've always been here. I can still remember that day six months ago when you entered this world screaming as vividly as though it happened yesterday. That morning six months ago, I never dreamed I'd be a mother by the end of the day. And now I can't imagine not being one.

This month has been both a good one and a frustrating one for all of us. You have been teething on and off all month, and you've kept Daddy and me creative in finding ways to ease your pain and distract you from it. There have been times when we've wanted to just leave you in your room and scream it out; you'd get exhausted eventually and fall asleep. But we haven't been able to do that. It breaks our hearts to hear you crying, to see you in such pain. We'd rather stay up all night to walk the floor with you than leave you to suffer on your own.
This has also been quite a month for your mouth. You've discovered that different things have different tastes, and you've made it your goal to taste everything in the house. You particularly love the taste of your fingers and your giraffe right now. You're also starting to savor the different tastes of food. You've only tried a few fruits so far, but you eat them with relish, always asking for more. I never expected someone so small could cram so much food in his tiny belly. Feedings have become times I look forward to.
By far the best development you've made this month would be your increased social skills. You now have an extensive vocabulary of about five words, all permutations of the syllables "ah," "boo," and "goo." Sometimes you'll throw in a "pthoo," otherwise known as spitting. You love it when Mommy and Daddy talk back with you, especially in your own language. It was one of your own words that prompted your first belly laugh. Now you love to laugh. Just last night Mommy and Daddy realized that you look forward to changing clothes partly because you like when we accidentally tickle your armpits while pulling your arms into and out of your shirts. That was the sweetest laugh we had heard yet. Each giggle or chuckle brings sunshine into my day, no matter how I'd been feeling before. There's something special in knowing I, your mom, can make you that happy.
Your bond with your daddy is deepening, even as you grow increasingly more attached to me. Last night you were really tired but in too much pain from teething to fall asleep on your own. Daddy picked you up and held you close. You immediately snuggled up to him on his belly, resting your head on his chest, and fell asleep as he patted your back. Never once did you lose your grip on his shirt. When he started to move you towards bed, you only tightened that grip. I hope you always hold him that tightly, even when your arms fit all the way around him.

I'm so proud of you for each new accomplishment, and I love watching your personality develop more each day. I can't wait for all the other firsts still ahead of you: first tooth, first word, first steps, first birthday, even first date. Yet it dawned on me today that they will come all too quickly, just like all the firsts that have already come and gone. I held you close yesterday before putting you down for a nap and cherished that moment as you rubbed your head against my chest and snuggled close. I know that these moments will grow few and far between as you grow more interested in toys and cars and other boy things. Before I know it, another six months will have flown by in a flash as fast as these last six months have. Please, I'm pleading with you to stay my little boy just a little longer. I'm not ready for you to crawl or walk away from me yet. Just let me hold you a few more moments...

Love,

Mommy