I am being repeatedly bombarded these days with the fact that my baby turns one year old in a mere five weeks and two days. That sounds so old! And for some reason, my mind has interpreted that one-year mark as the end of all things baby. It's like I'm expecting to wake up that morning and find a toddler in Patrick's crib in place of my little baby.
I've always planned to nurse for a year. Once he hits that year milestone, if either one of us wants to stop nursing, we will. Yet in my mind, I haven't imagined a slow weaning process, but more of "You're a year old now; you're cut off!" And as much as I detested my choice to nurse at first, now I'm thinking I'll miss it some. That's really my only opportunity to treat him like a little baby anymore, the only time I can hold him without him trying to wiggle off my lap or climb up my front.
All the other things that we've been advised to postpone until his first birthday will suddenly be allowed: "adult" milk, chocolate, all the other foods that may have been ok months ago but I've been too chicken to try yet, all the 12 months and up toys. My copy of What to Expect in the First Year will quickly be obsolete. It's as if on that morning in a mere five weeks and two days, everything I've always known will be useless.
Yet I realize his birthday will be no different from any of my own. Have I suddenly woken up on any birthday and felt any different? Or matured through major milestones overnight? Patrick will still be my Patrick then, just one day older. He may be allowed to try new things, especially food-wise, but there is nothing so magical about the day he turns one that I won't recognize my own baby because of all the changes. They will happen slowly, just as all the other changes and milestones have happened.
I need to keep reminding myself that I have nothing to fear from his first birthday. It will be a neat celebration and memory for all of us, but for him it's nothing more than a day with lots of new toys and the treat of his first taste of cake. He will not cease to be my Patrick just because he's turned one. Nor will he when he turns two, or three, or even thirty. No matter how monumental the milestone, nothing can change him from the Patrick I love with all my heart.
Since Patrick was feeling kind of under the weather yesterday (allergies), I didn't get any pictures of him. So instead, here's a video of him I've been saving for a rainy day:
Notice how it looks like he rolls his eyes at Daddy toward the end. Is that a budding teenager or what?
I've always planned to nurse for a year. Once he hits that year milestone, if either one of us wants to stop nursing, we will. Yet in my mind, I haven't imagined a slow weaning process, but more of "You're a year old now; you're cut off!" And as much as I detested my choice to nurse at first, now I'm thinking I'll miss it some. That's really my only opportunity to treat him like a little baby anymore, the only time I can hold him without him trying to wiggle off my lap or climb up my front.
All the other things that we've been advised to postpone until his first birthday will suddenly be allowed: "adult" milk, chocolate, all the other foods that may have been ok months ago but I've been too chicken to try yet, all the 12 months and up toys. My copy of What to Expect in the First Year will quickly be obsolete. It's as if on that morning in a mere five weeks and two days, everything I've always known will be useless.
Yet I realize his birthday will be no different from any of my own. Have I suddenly woken up on any birthday and felt any different? Or matured through major milestones overnight? Patrick will still be my Patrick then, just one day older. He may be allowed to try new things, especially food-wise, but there is nothing so magical about the day he turns one that I won't recognize my own baby because of all the changes. They will happen slowly, just as all the other changes and milestones have happened.
I need to keep reminding myself that I have nothing to fear from his first birthday. It will be a neat celebration and memory for all of us, but for him it's nothing more than a day with lots of new toys and the treat of his first taste of cake. He will not cease to be my Patrick just because he's turned one. Nor will he when he turns two, or three, or even thirty. No matter how monumental the milestone, nothing can change him from the Patrick I love with all my heart.
Since Patrick was feeling kind of under the weather yesterday (allergies), I didn't get any pictures of him. So instead, here's a video of him I've been saving for a rainy day:
Notice how it looks like he rolls his eyes at Daddy toward the end. Is that a budding teenager or what?
4 Comments:
Very cute. I love the video. I know how you feel about him turning one. Tanner will be 2 in four months. 2. I keep asking where the time went. Time is not fair to us mommies.
Nothing is going to change, His Ppa is going to be a year older and he still has not grown up. :-) Love you guys!
I keep telling you, it doesn't matter his age, he'll still be your baby even when he's eighty!!:) Just ask his daddy!!!
The time does go by fast, doesn't it? Gigi's right! I still have 4 babies. Yours just fits on your lap a little better. :)
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