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Sunday, September 03, 2006
Outings
I'm beginning to wonder if Patrick's sleep patterns are transitioning from those of a newborn to that of an older baby. Yesterday he slept much less than usual, only about an hour afternoon nap (compared to his usual two hours) and no evening nap. He was in a pretty good mood when we went out to eat at Red Lobster, even though we expected him to be sleepy and fussy. The fussiness did hit when we got to the mall a little while later, and we ended up pushing an empty stroller everywhere while carrying him. Between the walking and trying not to drop a squirming boy, I got quite the workout! He too was exhausted when we got back to the car and dropped right off to sleep.

Oh, yeah, and he was awake much earlier than normal yesterday morning. Matt found him first, and he'd obviously been up for a while, based on the state of his bed. I would show you the picture Matt took of it, but blogger is refusing to upload my pictures today. He had pulled one whole corner of the bumper away from the edge of the crib and created a little fort for himself. He looked quite pleased with himself, like he wanted us to be proud that he had used his wake time so well and hadn't gotten us up too early.

My arms were still tired from last night's walk this morning when I got to hold him through church. We finally got around to visiting the church adjacent to our neighborhood. Patrick loved the music, squirming and squealing through the worship time. After a while, though, the squirming got to him when he leaned over in front of Daddy and threw up (nope, not spit up--it was gross) on the floor. We decided that was about the right time to take him to a quieter place, like the nursery.

Patrick was unhappy and crying when I left him, and I felt so incredibly guilty. It made it hard to concentrate when I got back to the service. I also realized how vulnerable I felt. My shield was suddenly gone. People weren't looking at the cute thing in my arms anymore, and they might actually see me. It was so weird to suddenly recognize how much I hide behind Patrick, or Matt when Patrick's not around.

Anyway, I was anxious to get Patrick back when worship ended. He was crying when we got there. He was even doing the little hiccup sobs that tore at my heart. I was sure he'd cried the whole time based on how upset he seemed, but the nursery lady said he stopped crying soon after I left earlier and had been happy until just a minute or two before we got there. Finding him crying again didn't help my guilt, though, and I was all too happy to hold him again, even with my tired arms.

Matt and I are glad we visited this church, but we don't think we'll be going back. It was quite different from what either of us is used to and definitely out of our comfort zones. We're looking around for some other new places to visit in our area. I hope we can find a home church soon. I think that will make it easier to make ourselves go every week, when it's a place we're comfortable and have friends.

I guess the cute pictures from yesterday will have to wait too. Stupid blogger!

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1 Comments:

Blogger Heather Noel said...

Cant wait to see pictures. I saw that you couldnt leave comments on Tonyas blog. If you click other and fill in your name we can. Its a little more work, but at least we can still comment until they fix the beta bug.

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