The Idyllic Life

Today is my birthday. I am twenty-seven years old today, actually as of 5:16 this morning (accounting for the time change). For some reason this year I feel different on my birthday than I ever have before. Usually I anticipate my birthday for weeks ahead of time, dropping subtle and not-so-subtle hints that whole time so I will get the maximum number of birthday wishes--and presents--as possible. I think carefully about my birthday wish list, considering which items are most important to put on that list.

This year, the day snuck up on me. It's not until the last day or so that I even acknowledged my birthday was looming, and until this morning it didn't sink in that it was really happening. Only my close family and friends know it's my birthday, and I don't mind leaving it at that. Suddenly this year my birthday just isn't as important.

I think the combination of getting married and having a kid have changed my perspective about my birthday. I no longer care as much about what happens on my birthday, as long as Matt and Patrick have special days on theirs. Don't get me wrong--it's great to have people recognize my birthday; it's just not as important as it used to be.

I also have no idea what to ask for. Instead of a long list that I am forced to pare down to what is actually reasonable to expect, I am at a complete loss. I've been trying to come up with ideas to request for weeks, and I still have no idea. I finally realized why: there is nothing I want or need. I suppose I wouldn't mind having a new book or something like that, but my list of wants has diminished greatly in the last year. I now have all I ever wanted and then some. I am so perfectly content in my new life that I can't think of a single thing important enough to ask for.

It's funny to think back to previous years when I would ask for clothes, books, CDs, and any number of other material things, thinking they would make my birthday special. While I enjoyed receiving all that stuff, they never satisfied me the way I'm already satisfied now. I had no idea then what I was missing. Of course I wanted to get married and had some clue that life would be better once I did, but I really didn't understand how much better it would be with the right man. And I didn't even know to miss having a child. I assumed that was so far off that I didn't know to miss it yet. This birthday, though, I have the gifts that I never knew I was missing, that I never knew to request, and suddenly life is good. As simple as I expect my birthday celebration to be today, I'm sure it is going to be the most special birthday yet.